January 7, 2008

Peace in Finding My Calling

Four years ago, God was up to something big in my life. It was a season marked by indescribable growth and intimacy. I felt He was leading me to do big things for Him, and I was excited about the possibilities. I've chronicled the ups and downs of that journey at length in this post.

I thought I was over those old insecurities about having to prove my worth to God, but obviously not. I've tried to force a ministry path that has only left me frustrated and doubting my own significance.

Today my friend Lisa really put my feelings into words
I waited, believing God to close doors and open windows. I waited and believed, though my phone didn't ring and the letters didn't come. What went wrong?
Did I actually hear Him, or is it my own heart I've been following? I thought He wanted me to do big things, and yet nothing's happened. I've begun to doubt my calling.

In my study time this morning, I discovered something I'd not noticed before.

The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!" When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus.
~John 1:35-37, 40-42

We really don't read much about Andrew in the Bible. He's not as well-known as his boisterous brother, Peter. Peter was a man who ultimately did big things for God. We will probably never be able to count the number of lives affected by Peter's ministry. In the Book of Acts alone, thousands upon thousands of souls come to Jesus through Peter's preaching.

Yet it is Andrew who left John the Baptist to follow Jesus. Peter wasn't even on the scene at that time. Andrew brought Peter to Jesus. Not a big act. Just one person. Andrew took the time to seek his brother and bring him to Christ...and the world will never be the same.

There are no small callings in God's Kingdom. The Lord of the Harvest can use the investments I make in my little area of the world to bring a bounty unto Himself. To diminish my calling, whatever it may be, demonstrates my own lack of faith. Ouch!

I'm still struggling to find His calling for my life. Perhaps I'll find peace as I seek the One who calls. May it be also for you.


Deidre said...

I believe we should always question what God wants us to do with our lives. That means we are staying sensitive to His voice. But, I am the same way. Most times I feel like my God given job is minimal and maybe not even effective. God reminds me that He doesn't necessarily NEED me to accomplish His will, but it's all about my personal relationship with Him first. I need to submit and surrender to Him daily and do exactly what He asks of me that moment. I believe it becomes a trust relationship with Him (how much can he trust me with to do His work). All jobs are important, but sometimes my pride tries to minimize the 'smaller' tasks for him.

Thanks for posting this. It's a great reminder for me.

Kelly said...

I love your phrase that "there are no small callings in God's Kingdom." It gives purpose that He chooses to use me in a special way, no matter the significance by the world's standards!

Lisa Spence said...

No insignificant task in God's economy! As Paul says "whatever I do may I do it in the name of the Master!" (my paraphrase) Whatever I do--wash dishes, haul my kids around, intercede for my friend, compose a blog post--becomes a holy calling as I do it in the name of my Master, bringing Him glory!

Well said, my friend.

Carol said...

Wow! What an incredible post. I loved your post on Faith Lifts the other day and came to your blog. I'm one of your fellow writers from Faith Lifts. Your story sounds so similar to mine. God moved in my life in 2007 in a huge way. He has been so big and awesome and then I come to times where He is silent. And during those times I start to question. Like you, I have had so many confirmations from His word during those times. Isn't He awesome? May God continue to bless your ministry. I'll be back!

Lisa Bolling said...

Thanks so much for this post - I believe God is preparing me for something right now. I don't think it will be a big ministry. But, thanks for reminding me that no matter what is in the works - it is all good if it is done for His Glory.
Bless you!!

Alana said...

So, so true! There is no small calling, you never know what part you are playing in someone's life that seems little to you, but is HUGE to them.

the mother of this lot said...

Another example is Ananias. He only appears once in the Bible, leads Paul to Tarsus, then is never seen again. (Acts 9:10-19) But look what happened as a result!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

God's purposes for each of us are BIG and He is working so diligently in each of us to bring about His plan. No calling is small. AMEN!

(I love the things you point out ot me in scrpture)