Holding Fast to His Promise

"I establish my covenant with you: Never again will life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a food to destroy the earth." --Genesis 9:11

Last month, my hometown marked the 7th anniversary of "The Flood". The one that creeps into our conversations at least once a month (or so it seems), as in, "I'm sorry, sir, but we can't access your old file. We lost it in the flood." Or, "How high did you say the water in your office was?" (6' 8"). Or, "They relocated their business after the flood."

You see, our entire down - and by entire town, I mean the post office, City Hall, the telephone company, the electric company, the oil company, the funeral home, the banks, the waste water plant, and our primary industry which contributes the most to our economy - were all under at least 6 feet of water. I can't even begin to describe it in words, but the images still haunt me. My job wasn't affected, but my husband's was for a brief time. We were blessed. We had close friends who struggled through the loss of a business in their busiest season and at the height of their inventory. Unimaginable. Horrible. Devastating.

More than 100 families lost their homes. FEMA became a household word. Many are finally putting their lives back together.

Through the entire experience was that people banded together. God was glorified. Many proclaimed His Name. Through the struggle, He was there.

Just last week, a co-worker and I were discussing the fact that we'll never stop talking about the flood. Then came yesterday. And now, we'll have to specify which flood we're talking about.

My town is once again under water. The river is expected to crest this morning. Not as high as 7 years ago. But R just called to tell me that from what he can see, our office has about 8" of water. Other business have not fared nearly as well.

Fortunately, we had more warning this time. Most businesses spent Sunday evening and yesterday morning getting everything out of the buildings. We moved all of the furniture, files, and computers out of our office. I'm able to set up shop in my boss' home, and be nearly fully functional. The town should recover in a few months, rather than years.

I'm running on little sleep, lots of adrenaline and coffee. The task is overwhelming, and we haven't even begun. Yet, a song by Casting Crowns keeps running through my head,

I will praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands.

You are Who you Are, no matter where I am.

And every tear I cry, You hold in Your hands.

You never left my side, and though my heart is torn,

I will praise You in this storm.

I WANT to praise God in this storm. But more than that, I want others to praise Him. And that's going to be tough. How do you tell someone who's lost their business AGAIN during the fall retail season that God is in control...how do they trust Him when they hold Him completely responsible and feel He must be wicked or He wouldn't have allowed this to happen again? How do you comfort someone who's lost a home AGAIN when they've finally gotten settled?

My mind is reeling. As the first HAZMAT truck appeared yesterday and the news helicopters buzzed overhead, all I could think about was "Why, God? Why do this AGAIN? These people need to know You're here and that You're good." And the song comes back into my mind.

He reminded me, it's easy to praise Him when life is good. I do that all the time. Now, it's time for me to praise Him to others, even when life is senseless. When His promises seem to be nothing but lies and false hope. When it just seems too awful to be true.

So I'm asking you, please pray for my small area of Virginia. Please pray that the Christians here can serve God as He wants during this time. That we can shine His light in this hopelesly dark situation. That we ourselves can believe He is worthy of all praise...and that we can praise Him and testify to His love and mercy.

He worked a miracle before, and I know He can do it again. I'm counting on it.

13 October HAP-NINS (in my corner of the world)

1. My niece's 16th birthday. Man, my brother is O.L.D. :-)

2. CJ's 8th birthday. See, I'M not so old ;-)

3. Eight 8-year olds in my house...TOMORROW NIGHT! Am I CRAZY?!

4. Two road trips to my alma mater for football games.

5. Women of Faith conference in Charlotte, NC.

6. Visiting with a very close friend who moved away...she's coming to the conference with me!

7. CJ's spending the weekend with my sister while I'm gone.

8. CJ's first report card with actual letter grades. I'm a little nervous. She freaks out when she get a "B" on a paper (wonder WHERE she gets that from!)

9. I'm starting a new Bible study in my home. It's For Women Only, and I can't wait to get into it!

10. Our 2nd annual Halloween bonfire. We trick-or-treat in the neighborhood, then have make s'mores in the back yard. Yummy!

11. One of CJ's friends is spending the weekend with us while her parents are out of town.

12. October 28th...my favorite night of the year. Look at your calendar to figure out why. (Hint: it involves CLOCKS!)

13. Oh, yeah. Did I mention EIGHT 8-year olds coming to my house tomorrow night?! I'm off to buy some aspirin...

Searching No More

I have never met my biological father. He left when I was an infant, and never returned to our lives. The only picture I've seen of him is in one of my mom's high school yearbooks. He could literally walk up to me today, and I wouldn't know it was him.

Mom remarried when I was 3, and her husband has been my dad since that time. I don't remember life before him. He adopted me and raised me as his own. I love and respect him with all of my heart. He's been a good father. But I was haunted by guilt. I was ashamed that my biological father didn't love me enough to have a relationship with me. I felt there must be something horribly wrong with me. Ever since I can remember, I've knocked myself out to please people. I kept thinking that if I could just somehow be good enough, my biological father would come back and love me.

I worked hard to be the star student. The golden child. The parent-pleaser. Respectful and responsible. As perfect as I could possibly be. Yet it still wasn't good enough.

Fast forward to high school. Striving for perfection left me empty inside. Although I knew my parents loved me, I was afraid their love was conditioned upon my performance. (Pressure I, not they, put on me.) I thought I had to make all the right choices, be the right girl. On the outside, I was confident to the point of being arrogant.

On the inside, the cry of my heart was "Won't someone please love me?"

That gigantic need drove me to many desperate places. To many inappropriate relationships. To horrible, disastrous choices. Despite the scholarships and accolades...despite the best performances I could give...I was constantly looking for some to love me. When I was 19, I lost my grandfather & my best friend within 3 months of each other. I was devastated. I had a deep, cavernous void in my life, and I could only think to fill it with other relationships. In trying to use others to fill the vacuum, I found that I was the one being consumed. I was still empty, and I felt like I was vanishing before my very eyes.

I didn't grow up in a Christian home. Although my parents were both raised in church, they both turned away from all things Christian before I was born. I remember going through a period of attending church sporadically, but it didn't last long. I attended church only when I visited my grandparents. I went to Vacation Bible School a couple of times with my cousins. Yet I gave little, if any, thought to Jesus.

I began to curse God. If there was a God (which I wasn't so sure of), I certainly didn't want any part of Him. I shudder to think about the things I said about Him. It's a wonder He didn't strike me dead on the spot.

Then I met my husband, R. I later found out He was a Christian, though he had strayed. I've already shared the story of our courtship. We needed a church to get married in, so we started attending one. For the first time in my adult life, I admitted there was a loving God. I thought that was salvation. After we married, we moved to another church. I discovered that there was more to salvation than believing in God. I thought I made that step, and would be assured of my Heavenly home.

Four years later, during a Beth Moore Bible study, I read the story of David and Jonathan. I was in tears as I read how Jonathan, the prince, took off his beautiful robes and exchanged them with David, the shepherd boy. The prince took on the filthy, smelly, disgusting clothes of the shepherd boy. It hit me...Jesus did that for me. He took all that smut and ick in my life, and He put it on to give me a pure robe! Sitting on my bed, I genuinely gave my heart to Christ that night. And all the guilt and shame, the bad choices, the emptiness...they were all gone! I didn't have to beg anyone to love me anymore. Jesus filled that hole with Himself...and the earthly relationships provide the overflow.

Every now & again, Satan tries to remind me that I'm not worthy of God. This, I already know! Every time I enter a church, I'm amazed that the building doesn't fall down around me! But I take comfort in these verses penned by Paul...for I could have written them myself.

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now the King, eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Tim. 1:12 - 17).

To read other testimonies, please head over to Lauren's Bloggy Tour of Testimonies. I can't wait to see how God has brought other people to Himself!