September 5, 2006

First Day of School

Today is the first day of school. A NEW school. Well, actually my OLD school. It was surreal this morning, dropping my daughter off at the elementary school where I spent 6 years of my life. Everything seems much smaller now. But to CJ, it’s all so big. So strange. So scary.

We changed schools for a lot of reasons. Some you might understand, and some you might not. We didn’t make this decision lightly. We’re praying that it’s the best move for CJ. But she’s understandably nervous. So am I…to the point of being physically ill. Seriously. I’m just hoping that this change, which seemed so right during the summer, is really the best choice for our little girl. Seeing the fear in her eyes this morning, I wonder. Still, it’s easy to see that God is already paving the way.

Last week, a friend from church invited her to a “back to school” bash. She got to meet several girls who will be in her grade, and they were happy to give her “inside information” on the school. She’s in class with this friend. Her homeroom teacher was teaching when I was in school there, and I’m excited about that. She even moved CJ to sit right in front of her friend. The principal was one of my teachers. It’s all going to be good. I know that.

So why am I still so nervous?

I’ve always been a pretty decisive person. I know what I want, when I want it, and how I want it. R says I’m high maintenance. Remember “When Harry Met Sally”…the original “chick flick”? I’m not quite as uptight as Sally Albright, but most definitely H.M. Nothing wrong with that, is there? (Please don’t answer that!)

Yet, when it comes to making decisions for CJ's life, I often freeze. Suddenly, I can’t make up my mind about anything. I spend time weighing options, calculating risks, predicting results, determining benefits. Because it’s more important than whether I have enough items in my wardrobe to match that great pair of shoes, or if I look fabulous in this shade of lipstick, or if R will kill me if I buy another Vera Bradley bag. It’s the responsibility for another person’s life. What was God thinking when He gave me such an important job…one that I’m so ill-equipped to handle?

And that’s exactly His point. I can’t do this without Him. And in today’s world, I certainly don’t WANT to. I guess the best any parent can do is to seek God’s will for our child’s life and try to follow it as best we can. Trust in Him to guide us in the right direction. Ask for mercy when we goof. Give Him praise on those miraculous occasions when we get it right.

If you happen to have a minute today, would you mind taking my daughter to the King’s Throne in prayer? Pray that she has an AMAZING first day of school. That she’ll make friends. That her teachers will be kind and sensitive. That her nerves will disappear. And while you’re at it, that MY nerves will disappear. CJ & I will appreciate it!


Jennifer said...

Just said a prayer for both of you. Yes, the most important and best thing we can do for our children is pray for God's guidance in raising them and step out in faith that He is already there paving the way for them. :-)

Shalee said...

It is amazing how much God is teaching me through my children. And after 10 years, I still have so much to learn, I'm extremely sorry to say.

Prayed for your daughter and I know she will just love her school.

I'm a Sally too. Nothing wrong with being a Sally, unless we get together and nothing gets done...

Oh, and you have officially been tagged for a meme. Come play if you want to do so!

Barb said...

I was going to say I think Mommy's more nervous than Celia. But that's only natural. First day of school is scary for them and one thing I never ever could stand was seeing the slightest fear in my children's faces. The second day will be so much easier, hopefully for both of you. :-)

Girl Raised in the South said...

I'm sure you know she will look to you for direction; if you're okay, she will be also. I've always found comfort, knowing I would literally jump in front of a train for any one of my kids, that God loves them even more. He DID jump in front of the train. That helps me to relax sometimes, when I feel like it's all up to me. I'm not responsible for my kids, I'm just given the privilege of shaping, molding, while He's caring for me also. If you can visually place her in His hands every morning, that may be a comfort to you. He has BIG hands! I'll send up prayers now and then, and wait for the post telling us how great she did. With you right behind. xooxox