The Morning Hour

My sleepy hand emerges from the covers
to silence the loud beeping.
Slumbering senses come alive slowly.

The seafoam mug dotted with white
cradles the steaming liquid.
The muddy hue and the faint smell of vanilla, inviting.

The chair waits empty.
Pens stand in a vase, at the ready.
A light burns low and calming.

The pages rustle softly as angel's wings.
Enveloped in stitches sewn decades ago,
I am soon lost in the wonder of it all -
the story of the Prince who left the castle to claim me.

We meet somewhere between the earthly and the heavenly;
for I know even the most divine communion here
cannot compare to knowing Him fully.
I have slipped the bonds of the temporal and into the eternal.

These moments - this hour - is sacred.
It shadows all others to come.

The day intrudes, brash and demanding.
Chores beckon and duty calls.
I crash back into the boundaries of time and flesh.
And I count the hours until we will meet again.

Glimpses

The benefit of removing hindrances and distractions is a clearer, sharper focus. Peering keenly toward God, I begin to see glimpses of what the future might be. My heart flutters at the possibilities. Nervous, excited, a little scared. The jumble of emotions is tied in the knots of my stomach, straining against the confines of my skin and begging to burst forth.

With our girl safe on her first mission trip, my man and I take a trip to his college campus. We hold hands not like the college sweethearts we never were, but exactly like the fiery ones we are. Behind the veil of my sunglasses, I steal a glance at him. I see him walking this campus, roaming the halls of giant buildings, navigating library stacks. I see beyond the coming months of hard work. I see the man he will be after he's withstood this test, standing tall to proclaim God's work.

I see a young girl watching in admiration as her daddy presses on.

I see a family changed in the shadow of our Lord's glory.

I read Radical, Just Do Something and Prayers Of An Excellent Wife and I am challenged. I see a woman not content with substitutes.  Oh! how I want to be her!

I begin to eat Real Food and my body begins to change. I see a woman no longer craving the manufactured goodness of this world, but hungering deeply for the Lord's goodness and sweetness. Oh! how I want to be her!

These momentary glimpses mark my days, spur me on, and take my breath away.

The Slow Start

I turn the page on the calendar, from a parched canyon to a luscious waterfall. A new month has begun. The old one covered, gone with the things thrown aside.

Extra pounds. Unnoticed by others, yet they are absent. The scale creeps down and my heart floats up in happiness at the small success. I continue along the steady, healthy course in spite of the effort and my impatience, the desire for a quick fix.  This slow start, I know, is best. It leads to a change that will last.

Extra commitments. Giving myself and my family room to breathe. Saying no to even good things. Delighting in outdoor games and the cracking sound of a sturdy book's spine. Watermelon, a young girl's giggles, and my husband's smile bright from his suntanned face. I drink them in, remembering the difference a year makes and knowing that these days cannot be recaptured.

Extra spending. Our first month without the security of R's paycheck. Without a doubt God has been creative with our finances. I marvel at His ability to stretch pennies farther than I could stretch dollars. I sink deep into the abundance of His provision. Just last week, CJ lamented that we would soon have to start living on less. "Start? We have been living on less for more than a month!" I exclaimed joyfully. Her eyes opened wide, and my girl saw Him in all of His glory.

In throwing aside the extra, the unnecessary, we are able to fix our eyes on what is of true worth. What is real. What is good. What is important. Casting my thoughts on these things, I don't fret that the pace is too slow. I forget to worry about the uncertain future. I look only at today and His incredible goodness.

And it is well with my soul.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

~Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

Getting Real

My motivation to write has been sorely lacking. Hence, the unplanned 2-week break from blogging. But I wanted to come back to the topic of throwing aside.

I've just finished reading Real Food. It was eye-opening, to say the least. Thinking about real (all natural, non-processed) food and incorporating it into our life has created a hunger for everything in my life to be real, genuine. 


Are my relationships (in person and online) genuine?

How many substitutes am I allowing in my life? 

These questions dig deep. Beyond the internet. Beyond other media choices.  They delve into my soul.


Am I the same woman in the choir loft, in the Sunday School room, and in this space as everywhere else?

Am I genuine? 


I begin to study Becoming a Woman of Excellence.  I am challenged by the first memory verse.

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

- Philippians 1:9-11 (ESV)

Approving what is excellent. Scoffing at imitations. Refusing to compromise or settle.

Surely goals of worth.

I grit my teeth against the pain, toss off the hindrances, and keep running.

Throwing Aside

I don't know where the motivation came from. One afternoon I walked in the door and announced I was going for a walk/run. CJ quickly offered to join me. As we tied our laces, I laid out the plan perfect for someone who hasn't exercised in a long time. We could do this.

Water bottles in hand and determination in our eyes, we set out. The warm-up was more strenuous than I expected. Breaths came quick, sharp. Droplets of sweat dampened my hair. Then it was time to run. Feet pounded pavement. Pain shot through my shins, coursing north and south to my knees and ankles. I made it a tiny distance before slowing down to a walk.

Keep your head up. Look at the back of my shirt. Are you okay? You can do this.

Despite CJ's encouragement, my body could not follow THE PLAN. Too many pounds and too little exercise had brought me to this place where my body screamed in agony. The extra weight a hindrance to the race I wanted to run.

It's not the only struggle I'm facing.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

~Hebrews 12:1-4

God beckons me to strip off and throw aside (Amplified) many things that are weighing me down.

Weight.
Excuses.
Expectations.
Attitudes.
Worries.


The excess brings no benefit. It distracts my focus. It keeps me from following the One Who spilled His blood that I might live.

No more.

It stops here. Now. Today.