The Balancing Act: Menu Planning

Since I've been so late getting everything else done around here, why should you be surprised that I'm what...a month or so late on finishing The Balancing Act series?

And I'm hoping you really won't be shocked when I point you to a couple of ladies who have the menu planning down to a science. My attempts pale in comparison.

So, go visit Joanne and Meredith. You'll find lots of great tips...I sure did!

The Balancing Act: Making a Routine Work for You

Well, I didn't plan to be gone for so long! Just as I planned to write about having a daily routine, mine nearly fell apart. A crazy-busy week with Southern Living at Home, followed by R's week of 3-11 shift, ministering to a couple of friends in need, and hosting Thanksgiving dinner...in times like these, maintaining a routine is difficult. Yet there is something inside me that craves a routine and its dependability. It calms me.

Wash on Monday,
Iron on Tuesday,
Mend on Wednesday,
Churn on Thursday,
Clean on Friday,
Bake on Saturday,
Rest on Sunday.

~ from Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder

I admit, the idea of such a routine thrills me. I've tried several times over the years to have designated days for chores. When I failed, I shut down. Perhaps one of the most important lessons I've learned during the Year of Peace and Simplicity has been to let go of unrealistic expectations. I've stopped trying to micromanage my days, and discovered that a routine can be flexible and still be effective. Here's what routine usually looks like for me:

Morning

5:30 - 6:30 quiet time
6:30 - 6:45 quiet chore (usually folding laundry)
6:45 - 7:20 wake CJ; make her breakfast & lunch; hair assistance when needed ;-)
7:20 - 7:30 empty dishwasher while CJ waits for bus
7:30 - 8:15 make bed, get ready for work, and head out for the day

R's shift is the big variable here. Sometimes I get up later (so the quiet chore doesn't get done) and don't make the bed (hard to do with him still in it!). Like Joanne, my schedule isn't written down anywhere, but being intentional in using my time has many benefits.

Evening

~Dinner - either from the crockpot, or something quick & simple
~Homework & reading
~Clean Kitchen (usually while CJ sits at the bar during homework)
~Laundry, if necessary
~General Pickup
~"Free time" hour
~Start dishwasher & washing machine as needed
~Bed

Again, this is how it GENERALLY works. I try to keep my weeknight commitments limited to one per week (aside from Wednesday night church). There are plenty of weeks when I have no other plans, but occasionally I have more than one. I'm blessed that R's schedule allows him to help. He frequently starts dinner. Most of the time, he's home to greet CJ after school and they have about an hour to unwind before I get home from work. I make an effort to come straight home from work, which means I often use my lunch hour to run errands.

I get off work early on Fridays, and use that time for grocery shopping and appointments. For the most part, cleaning and seasonal chores are reserved for Saturdays. I just don't have the time or energy during the week!

I'm a control freak planner, so I keep my eye on the weeks...but I've found that my life works better when I focus my energy on the daily routines. Taking each day as it comes. Accomplishing what I can. Reminding myself that the world won't come to an end if something doesn't get checked off my list. I'm convinced it's what Jesus wants for my life, and for yours.

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.

~Matthew 6:34 (AMP)

Next up...restful Sundays.

The Balancing Act: Laundry

Another stumbling block in the search for balance has been laundry. If you have more than one child, you're probably thinking I have no right to complain about laundry for just three people...but it's my blog & I can complain if I want.

My problem wasn't the small number of people in my family. It was the large amount of clothing for said people. For example, if CJ fussed because she never seemed to have any socks or underwear clean, I'd just buy more socks and underwear. It seemed logical. Sadly, it never occurred to me that I should do laundry more often...it was one of those things I just put off as long as I could. The more I kept buying, the easier procrastination became. My rationale was that, as long as we had clean clothes, there was no need to wash what was dirty. The piles of dirty clothes would get taller and taller.

Finally, when I had no other choice, I would start washing clothes. Because I had so much to do, I'd just wash and dry. Folding & putting away were not high on my priority list. Besides, I didn't have space to put it all. I was left with piles of clean clothes and piles of dirty clothes. I could always tell the difference...but I was the only one.

When I started purging last year, excess clothing was high on my list. I did ALL of the laundry, and looked at what we had. I got rid of a lot. A LOT. It's an ongoing process. When I swapped seasonal clothing this fall, I purged from both summer and winter clothing. I hope to do that with every season change. If it doesn't fit (or we just don't wear it), I take it to consignment. If we've worn it out, I throw it away.

Now, there are no piles of clean clothes. The piles of dirty clothes are smaller and easier to tackle. I'm more apt to stay on top of things because: (1) I know we don't have much to spare, and (2) putting away what we do have is much easier.

Some other practical tips I've picked up along the way:

~R and I have three clothes bins in our bedroom. We sort the clothes when we take them off. HUGE timesaver! CJ only has room for one hamper, but sorting her items isn't so bad.

~My washing machine has a timer. It's one of the greatest inventions ever. Many nights, I put a load in before I go to bed and set the timer so that it runs just before I get up. After my quiet time, I put the clothes in the dryer. I wait to fold them when I get home (these are non-wrinkle items!). I also throw in a load before I go to work, and set the time so that it runs just before I get home. They're ready to go in the dryer when I come in, and I try to fold them right after dinner. Often times, I fold laundry as morning "quiet chore". Still, I never have more than two loads to fold at a time.

~I use 2 empty baskets when folding. One for items to go to CJ's room/bathroom. Another for ours. Everyone's responsible for putting away their own clothing (well, most of the time).

~I keep a few hangers in the laundry room. When I know I'm not going to get to folding a load for a while, I can easily take out the shirts and pants that will wrinkle, and hang them up right away.

Taming the laundry monster wasn't as hard as I thought. Now that it's manageable, I don't mind doing laundry at all. I can fold clothes while I watch TV or CJ does her homework. Not having to search for clean clothing is yet another valuable ministry to my family, and has made our home more peaceful.

If you've got some good laundry tips, feel free to share in the comments. I'd love to read them.

Next time: finding a daily schedule you can live with.

The Balancing Act: Comfort Zones

Comfort zones. We all have them. Mine is a green sofa that we bought from a dear friend. She rues the day she let it out of her grasp, so I let her have visitation rights whenever she wants.

But more than that particular piece of heaven furniture, our living room/kitchen are the center of comfort in our home. This one open room is where we spend most of our time...reading, watching tv, reading, playing board games, and reading (well, some of us more than others). When this area of the house is messy, it affects all three of us in a negative way. It's tough to flop on a couch piled high with unfolded laundry, or do homework on a bar loaded with dirty dishes. In the old days, the coffee table and end tables served as nothing more than a place to hold things I didn't want to put away. Shoes, magazines, newspapers, you name it...it could probably be found in our living room.

I've learned that taking a few minutes every night to concentrate on this area of our home pays big dividends. As long the living room/kitchen are clean, it doesn't matter what the rest of the house looks like...we function better as a family. We relax more, laugh more, enjoy each other more. When I have my morning quiet time, I'm more at ease because my surroundings are peaceful.

I admit, there are days when I'm just too tired to deal with it. Still, even when I skip a day, I'm surprised to find how quickly I can restore order. (Again, decluttering was the springboard!)

What room/rooms serves as your family's comfort zone? If you think about it, I bet there's one spot that says "home" to you more than another. Perhaps it's your bedroom, a playroom, or the kitchen. Ask your family what room they enjoy most when it's clean. Then concentrate on that room. Even if you don't have time to vacuum and dust often, keep it tidy (if you have small children, invest in inexpensive baskets for quick toy storage). 15 minutes a day is all it takes to make a noticeable difference in the life of your family. And aren't they worth it?

Around the House - September

I am:

~finished with the Book of John (it only took me 8 months!). I'm glad I took it slowly...what goodness there was to be gleaned!

~starting in the Book of Isaiah, and looking ahead to a good Word!

~so happy that temps have fallen back into the 80s.

~grateful that CJ's primary teacher this year is a Christian (also a friend).

~proud of my girl for seeking out a classmate who was being left out. I've been praying that CJ will grab opportunities to minister to others this year...she's going to have plenty of them.

~wishing Chris Long was still a Cavalier.

~woefully behind in blog reading.

~rethinking how much blog reading I do.

~eagerly waiting to see how God's going to use me with the youth and in my Sunday School class.

~thankful to be getting back into a routine. Summer's freedom was nice, but I don't do well without a routine for very long. I like structure. Rising early, menu planning, and setting goals for the day all do my heart good.

~ecstatic that there is NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. on our calendar for this weekend! I plan to fill it with giving the house a scrub down, board games, a DVD & popcorn, worship, rest, and good book. Heck, I might stay in my PJs all weekend, except when we go to church Sunday morning!

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Around the House - June Edition

I am:

~Celebrating that school's finally done!

~So happy that we cut back on daycare this summer. CJ spent all day with her dad yesterday. They worked on a friend's shed roof (she was the gopher, and loved every minute of it), napped, and had dinner ready when I got home. Today, she and R have gone to see his mom. The rest of the week, she's visiting family & friends each day. I'm hoping a sprinkling of "off" weeks will be a blessing...less structure for CJ, and less money for us.

~A little sad that CJ's softball season is done, but happy to clear our schedule (except for R's church league softball)

~Praying for church mission teams in Africa and Peru

~Thankful for last night's rain and cooler temps this week

~Looking forward to a "Camp Rock" sleepover Friday night and the Billy Joel concert Saturday

~Preparing for summer Bible study

I should:

~finish purging my clothes & CJ's clothes

~weed the flower beds

~go to bed earlier so I'll stop sleeping in

~buy groceries

~not spend so much time with my nose in a book

~look over my calendar & make some phone calls

~do laundry tonight

~announce that the winner of the "With Endless Sight" giveaway is Amanda! I'll be emailing you for your address.

Tidbits of Life

I am:

~Thinking that Belgian White Chocolate Macadamia Creamer may entice me to keep drinking coffee during the summer

~Hardly believing we'll be celebrating our 15th anniversary two weeks from today. Click here to read the story of our courtship, and here to see why I love that man so!

~Still enjoying the front porch, and the petunias CJ gave me for Mother's Day. My grandmother kept petunias planted at her back door, and the fragrance always makes me think of her

~Looking forward to a ride this weekend...the first of the season!

~Anxiously counting down the weeks til school's out (four more to go). I'm really over 4th grade!

~Happy that I picked up $57 from the consignment store this week. I'd like to drop off some more things soon...I really need to weed through my clothing

~Planning to finish the attic purge by the end of the month

~Thankful that I helped a friend by keeping her 2-year old son this evening. He's a sweetie, and he calls me, "Aunt Lis"!

~Wondering how to stretch our budget to cover the extra gas & food expense. Any good ideas?

~Leaving the computer to go snuggle with my man

Catching My Breath

T.G.I.F. More specifically, T.G.I.F. and I'm going to be home this weekend! I've been gone the past two, and my house is suffering. I'm looking forward to a weekend spent mostly at home.

CJ has her first softball game tonight. Tomorrow morning is plant shopping. Sunday, of course, is church (and teaching Sunday School). The only other item on our agenda is a history project on Paul Revere. I'm planning to get things cleaned up and back to (somewhat) normal.

Since I made a conscious effort to slow down and simplify, I've found that I can't keep up the rat-race pace anymore. I used to flit around all the time, busy with whatever and rarely spending an entire Saturday at home. It didn't bother me that my house was a wreck and laundry was everywhere.

Now, I can't handle it. I've got to do something about it (unless I'm curled up on the couch with a good book...ahem).

I'm behind on everything, even my reading for the Lux Venit Reading Group. But I hope to catch my breath this weekend, and post my thoughts on Chapters 4 & 5 by Monday. (By the way, I just won a book from Leslie @ Lux Venit! God is outdoing Himself these days!)

In the meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy a hot dog at the ballpark, the 75° weather, a stroll through my favorite garden center, and putting my house back in order.

Have a great weekend.

Changes Wrought

I made another trip to the consignment store yesterday. I've lost count, but this was the 4th or 5th SUV-load I've taken since I started purging in January. I know we've had 3 truckloads of trash (and more to come!) In the process, I've "earned" $130 from cleaning the downstairs, and another $50 in coins I found in a sand bucket in the attic and took to the bank (boy, does loose change add up!) I can't wait to see what the attic loot brings!

There's still one area left to sort. If I get to it before the attic gets too hot, that's fine. If not, it'll keep til Fall. We will finish the garage (R & CJ started that on their own, WITHOUT any prodding from me...see, it's contagious!) I do have some things I want to fine-tune in the house, but I'm definitely winding down.

I've received comments from other bloggers who say I've been an inspiration, a "hero"...which makes me want to shout, "BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

I know me.

I know that it is all because of Him. Believe me...BELIEVE ME...when I tell you that absolutely none of the changes in my life would have happened without His guidance (and in some cases, I've gone kicking and screaming). I can't take any glory here, because I know myself too well.

This isn't false humility. It's the unvarnished truth. As I think back on the past year of my life, I can't believe what He has done.

The working wife has become the wife who happens to work.

The busybody has become a homebody.

The hoarder has become a minimalist.

The one who couldn't slow down (for fear of looking at herself) has become the one who cherishes and anticipates the Day of Rest.

And the one thing I hope each of you knows is that if He can do it for me, He can do it for anyone.

I will listen [with expectancy] to what God the Lord will say, for He will speak peace to His people, to His saints (those who are in right standing with Him)--but let them not turn again to [self-confident] folly.
~Psalm 85:8 (AMP)

The Excellent Wife: Chapter 3

How godly we become depends on how hard we work at it.

How hard you work at putting on the right thoughts and actions will directly affect how much like the Lord Jesus Christ you become in this life.

Ouch, OUCH, O.U.C.H.

I don't have time for a detailed post, but I can pretty much sum up my reaction to this chapter in a couple of sentences.

Being an excellent wife will not come naturally. It requires that I roll up my sleeves and get to work.

I'm heading out of town for the weekend, but look forward to reading what everyone else has to say on this chapter.

The Excellent Wife: Chapter 2

And I thought Week 1 was tough! Chapter 2 gave me so much to consider, I read it several times. I haven't digested it all yet. I wish I could respond to each paragraph Martha Peace wrote, but I'm going to focus on the top three points that spoke to my heart.

First...

Yours and every wife's chief end in life is to glorify God, but it is to glorify Him in the manner in which God planned.

~Pg. 10

I wrote in the margin, "not my plans!" I long to glorify God, but so often I want to do it in accordance with my plans. However, I'm to glorify Him within the roles He has chosen for me. If I seek to satisfy myself with what I want, even if people are pointed to God in the process, I'm not truly glorifying Him.

For several years, I've wanted a "ministry" beyond what I have. I've wanted to do big things for God. I've bought into S*tan's lie that serving my family isn't enough. I've wanted to find my identity in other arenas. In the past year, God has brought tremendous changes to my heart. More than anything, I want to serve my family. That is the only ministry that matters.

Next...

The works God has prepared for you to do include not only what you do in your relationship with your husband, but also your heart's motive or attitude. It will help you to have the right attitude if you focus on what you are supposed to be doing, not on what your husband is supposed to be doing.

~Page 12

I am easily frustrated when R doesn't do what I expect him to do, especially around the house. I am quick to blame him, showing little patience or understanding. I slip into the role of martyr, which I think suits me well. It doesn't. If I would take the energy I spend worrying about what I think R should be doing, and invest it in what I know I should be doing...well, my home would be much different.

And lastly...the biggie. Submission. This is something I've struggled with for most of our marriage. R has a quiet personality. I am anything but. Worried what others may think, I tried to squelch my spiritual gifts for fear of "overshadowing" R. I was miserable. I finally, FINALLY accepted the fact that God has given us different strengths and weaknesses, and that we complement each other. We are a team and R is the captain. He knows that. I know that. And, most importantly, God knows that.


*************
You can visit Leslie to see what other members of our reading group thought of Chapter 2.

The Excellent Wife: Chapter 1

When I told my hubby that I was going to be reading "The Excellent Wife", his response was, "Why? You wrote it."

I couldn't even detect a speck of sarcasm. See why I love that man of mine?

So you might say I was feeling a little smug. Friends warned me this is a tough book. In my heart, I scoffed. I read the first chapter last week.

I'm still licking my wounds.

God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife's own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day.

~Page 4

Even though R may think I'm an excellent wife at times, I know there's much room for improvement. Too many times I give him the left-overs. My energy and patience have been zapped by the demands of the job, the home, the girl, and the what-have-yous. I flop on the sofa like a limp dishrag, looking rather disheveled, and my eyes glaze over as he starts to speak. I mumble "mmm" and "uh-huh" at the appropriate intervals, but am I really listening to his heart?

...an excellent wife reflects God's glory by her attitudes and actions.

~Page 4

I'm guessing sighing and rolling my eyes don't fall into the category of actions that glorify God. And what about resentment because he didn't do what I asked exactly when I asked? What about jealousy because he has free time alone at home, which I regard as a precious commodity?

Then there's the nagging and complaining.

With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.
~Judges 16:16 (NIV)

Do everything without complaining or arguing...
~Philippians 2:14
Many times I don't express my complaints vocally, but mentally I'm keeping score. It's hard being a wife and mother who works outside of the home. R's swing shift rotation is another obstacle to hurdle as I manage our home (i.e. I can't clean while he's sleeping, and practically being a single parent one week). I feel entitled to gripe.

Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse.

~Page 7

Clearly, I'm wrong.

My friend were mistaken. This book is more than tough. It's really, really tough.

For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.
~Hebrews 12:6 (AMP)
He must love me to pieces.

Go visit Leslie to see if He's lovin' on some other ladies.