March 28, 2008

The Excellent Wife: Chapter 1

When I told my hubby that I was going to be reading "The Excellent Wife", his response was, "Why? You wrote it."

I couldn't even detect a speck of sarcasm. See why I love that man of mine?

So you might say I was feeling a little smug. Friends warned me this is a tough book. In my heart, I scoffed. I read the first chapter last week.

I'm still licking my wounds.

God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife's own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day.
~Page 4

Even though R may think I'm an excellent wife at times, I know there's much room for improvement. Too many times I give him the left-overs. My energy and patience have been zapped by the demands of the job, the home, the girl, and the what-have-yous. I flop on the sofa like a limp dishrag, looking rather disheveled, and my eyes glaze over as he starts to speak. I mumble "mmm" and "uh-huh" at the appropriate intervals, but am I really listening to his heart? excellent wife reflects God's glory by her attitudes and actions.
~Page 4
I'm guessing sighing and rolling my eyes don't fall into the category of actions that glorify God. And what about resentment because he didn't do what I asked exactly when I asked? What about jealousy because he has free time alone at home, which I regard as a precious commodity?

Then there's the nagging and complaining.

With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.
~Judges 16:16 (NIV)

Do everything without complaining or arguing...
~Philippians 2:14

Many times I don't express my complaints vocally, but mentally I'm keeping score. It's hard being a wife and mother who works outside of the home. R's swing shift rotation is another obstacle to hurdle as I manage our home (i.e. I can't clean while he's sleeping, and practically being a single parent one week). I feel entitled to gripe.
Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse.
~Page 7

Clearly, I'm wrong.

My friend were mistaken. This book is more than tough. It's really, really tough.

For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.
~Hebrews 12:6 (AMP)

He must love me to pieces.

Go visit Leslie to see if He's lovin' on some other ladies.


Anonymous said...

Excellent!! You brought out some scriptures I needed to read to remind me of areas I need to tighten up. I appreciate what you said about listening to your husband's heart. The other part that resonated with me is what you wrote about feeling entitled to gripe. Ouch. I have my reasons, too, and my attitude does not honor God. Thanks for reading with me!

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

I did this Bible study exactly one year ago. It was life changing,but oh so difficult. I know that one lesson I learned through it though is that excellence is not the same as perfection. Thanks for sharing what you're learning. I need the reminder. I recently wrote a post admitting to my struggles as a wife.

Spirit of Adoption said...

That was So good! : ) I love the way you write, you draw me in! I can "see" what's going on! : ) I don't think I've ever been here before, so I'm excited to "get to know you" through this! There's no place where I'm not lacking in being a wife, so you hit on some great points for me to think through as well!

Chris @ Come to the Table said...

Throughout the years God has revealed to me in His word these truths and yet I still struggle. I can so relate to so much of what you have shared. I am so thankful that He has not given up on me.

Hopefully, this will be easier with sisters walking alongside to encourage each other.

Tonia said...

Ouch! For a minute there it sounded like you were writing about me - I struggle with lots of those issues as well. This book is really showing me that I need to change. Thanks for sharing your thoughts - very good read! :0)

Lisa Spence said...

He's lovin' on this girl, to be sure!

Rebekah said...

"I'm guessing sighing and rolling my eyes don't fall into the category of actions that glorify God."

Ouch.Yep. Me, too. Though hard, I'm glad we're reading this book!

His Girl said...


I don't think I am ready to read that book yet. Reading Power of a Praying wife right now. Maybe next.

Much Ado said...

Yes, I got that same feeling too after reading the first chapter - that this book is going to be really, really tough! But "good" tough! I appreciated your openness and reading your thoughts on the chapter

Anonymous said...

Hi Melissa and thanks,
I'm with Tonia,... I thought you were writing about me. Especially when it comes to spending that "end of the day" time with my husband. He wants to talk an I want to veg. God has convicted me of that many times.I am so blessed to be reading this book with you all.

Kelly said...

So glad you are joining in the discussion on this book--I value your insight!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

Wow - I did the study a few years ago and was blown away. I think a refresher course is due. Your thoughts are so honest and I love your perspective. Thanks!