April 4, 2008

The Excellent Wife: Chapter 2




And I thought Week 1 was tough! Chapter 2 gave me so much to consider, I read it several times. I haven't digested it all yet. I wish I could respond to each paragraph Martha Peace wrote, but I'm going to focus on the top three points that spoke to my heart.

First...
Yours and every wife's chief end in life is to glorify God, but it is to glorify Him in the manner in which God planned.
~Pg. 10

I wrote in the margin, "not my plans!" I long to glorify God, but so often I want to do it in accordance with my plans. However, I'm to glorify Him within the roles He has chosen for me. If I seek to satisfy myself with what I want, even if people are pointed to God in the process, I'm not truly glorifying Him.

For several years, I've wanted a "ministry" beyond what I have. I've wanted to do big things for God. I've bought into S*tan's lie that serving my family isn't enough. I've wanted to find my identity in other arenas. In the past year, God has brought tremendous changes to my heart. More than anything, I want to serve my family. That is the only ministry that matters.

Next...
The works God has prepared for you to do include not only what you do in your relationship with your husband, but also your heart's motive or attitude. It will help you to have the right attitude if you focus on what you are supposed to be doing, not on what your husband is supposed to be doing.
~Page 12
I am easily frustrated when R doesn't do what I expect him to do, especially around the house. I am quick to blame him, showing little patience or understanding. I slip into the role of martyr, which I think suits me well. It doesn't. If I would take the energy I spend worrying about what I think R should be doing, and invest it in what I know I should be doing...well, my home would be much different.

And lastly...the biggie. Submission. This is something I've struggled with for most of our marriage. R has a quiet personality. I am anything but. Worried what others may think, I tried to squelch my spiritual gifts for fear of "overshadowing" R. I was miserable. I finally, FINALLY accepted the fact that God has given us different strengths and weaknesses, and that we complement each other. We are a team and R is the captain. He knows that. I know that. And, most importantly, God knows that.


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You can visit Leslie to see what other members of our reading group thought of Chapter 2.

10 comments:

Tiffany said...

Ok, I am loving this book. I read through all the ladies posts on the first chapter. It so closely resembles a book I have called Created to be his Help Meet, by Debi Pearl. I would love to read this book and join in ya'lls discussion. Is it still open?

His Girl said...

Looks like I'll have to read this book now... can't wait to see how God blesses your obedience to push through something that's not exactly a 'feel good' read :)

Becoming Me said...

Page 12 was such a big one for me. And really a life changer.

Leslie said...

The first point you bring out here really got to me, too. I was always under the impression that I could do what my heart desired as long as it honored God. To an extent I guess that's true, but it's also true that I need to be ministering in the ministries he's given me -- rather than creating my own ministries. This whole "your husband is your primary ministry" is very new to me.

Much Ado said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on chapter 2, I appreciated your honesty, this book is certainly giving us a lot to think about! By the way I love your blog design!

Adzele K. Jones said...

My husband is a quiet one too...he does everything very slowly (so I think), and I always get impatient and want to edge him on...but you know what, God knows best in joining us, because without his personality balancing mine, I will be in so much trouble...God knows his plan for us before we start making one for ourselves.

Mary said...

"If I would take the energy I spend worrying about what I think R should be doing, and invest it in what I know I should be doing...well, my home would be much different."

Ouch! That one hurt me. I saw this book about a week ago and considered buying it but didn't because I thought was a little to radical for me. I don't think that it was an accident that I found your blog this week. Obviously I am being told "read this" by One that knows how much I need it. I'll be in Lifeway later this week and I'll pick it up then.

Jill@Who Could Ask for Anything More said...

Great lesson. I also struggled with keeping my family my main mission field. I married a man with two children so ours is a case of a "ready-made" family. I had a hard time going from single to married with children. But, now I take great joy in knowing my season of life right now is my young family and not being gone from home constantly doing other things.

Tiffany said...

Thanks Melissa-
I ordered the book this weekend, and it comes in on Tuesday! Yeaaah! I'm in a bible study right now on the book For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldhahn. So, it all ties in together!

SiftedHeart said...

This was a tough chapter, thank you Melissa for sharing. Linda