When I was growing up, I desperately wanted to be a Tarheel. As I got older, I realized my parents wouldn't be able to afford the out-of-state tuition. I concocted a plan to use my grandparents' address for residency without changing high schools (the farm is in both Virginia and North Carolina). The plan wasn't going to work, and I chose to be a Wahoo. Never...not even once...did I consider being a Hokie.
UVA and Virginia Tech have always enjoyed a fierce, but good-natured rivalry. I have many friends who attended Tech. We tease one another unmercifully. It's all in fun.
Then today.
I can't think of anything more horrifying than the events I've seen play out on tv and on the internet. I think of the 30+ students who didn't realize they'd never live to see final exams. Of those who were forced to play dead in order to remain alive. Of those who risked jumping out of 3rd story windows.
And then I think of the parents. I can't begin to imagine what they were going through as they waited for news of their children's whereabouts and safety. Fortunately, as far as we know, the local students from our area are all safe.
But, as Shannon said, how can we think we're truly safe? CJ & I made our daily (or so it seems) trip to W*lmart this afternoon. She darted down another aisle in a quest to beat me to the Lunchables cooler. Normally, I wouldn't think twice about it. We do still live in a small town, and I was just one aisle over. But today, I couldn't wait to get to the end of that aisle. I had to see my baby and make sure no gunman was lurking around the corner...waiting to assassinate her in the same manner as those poor students today.
And I realize, as much as I want to make CJ feel safe...as much as I need her to feel safe...that's something I can't guarantee. I can guard her computer usage, monitor her television viewing (which is a feat in and of itself), and make sure I know where she is at pretty much any moment of any day. But I can't completely shield her from evil. I can only pray for God's protection over her. Even if I spend every waking minute of the rest of my life on my knees, pleading for her safety, I can't know what God has in store for her. His ways are not may ways...and that's pretty frightening to me right now.
My heart is shattered. I'm fighting back sobs that are threatening to overtake me.
Still I will trust Him.
R's been working tonight, but CJ & I have been praying for the Virginia Tech family. I gotta tell ya, more than anything, I wish I could call my Hokie friends and give them some good-natured grief. Just like I've always done. Because that would mean things were normal. Instead, I'm crying, lifting them up in prayer, and asking God to minister to their hurting hearts and souls.
I hope you'll join me.
Because of Jesus,
Melissa
1 comment:
I was poking around on your blog a little...and I wanted you to know that I felt your emotion in this post. My brother and sister are Tech graduates and I've taught many Tech students/graduates. I did not know of anyone currently on the campus, but my brother-in-law grew up in church with the family of one of the girls who was killed. I really understand the sentence you wrote saying 'my heart is shattered'. That is exactly how I felt. Yesterday my brother gave me a Hokie tribute CD for my birthday. It's done a capella by groups from several Virginia campuses.
I didn't mean for this to go on so long, but as you can see, the post touched something in me.
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