September 23, 2008

A Heartfelt Prayer

It's been a while since I shared my heart here on the blog. Not sure why, exactly, but trust's been for the best. Things here have been bleak lately. Stepping out on faith made me feel strong, courageous even. Then WHAM! ...broadsided by a full onslaught by the enemy.

I was okay at first. Saw it for what it was. Then a week of having a bad cold, coughing til my ribs hurt and sleeping very little all combined to bring me to the edge of despair. A second unexpected (and possibly large) expense within the past month...well, let's just say I fell headfirst into the pit. Sunday night, I told the Lord I was giving up on Peru.

Monday morning, He woke me early to give me a beautiful Word:

And the Lord will create over the whole site, over every dwelling place of Mount Zion and over her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day and the shining of a flaming fire by night; for over all the glory shall be a canopy (a defense of divine love and protection). And there shall be a pavilion for shade in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge and a shelter from storm and from rain.
~Isaiah 4:5-6 (AMP)

Lord, I need your presence today. Please be that cloud of smoke, and cloud my vision so that I don't see anything beyond you. Take my eyes off the circumstances that are weighing me down. Help me to see you clearly. I've spent too much time worrying about things outside of my relationship with you, and the ministries you've called me to here. Lord, narrow my focus on those things, so that all I see is you.

Lord, may your fire burn away all the junk in my heart. Protect me from evil, and shine for others in my life to see your glory.

Lord, I pray that your canopy of divine love and protection will stretch out over me and my home. Grant us shelter from the heat of the day, from all the pressures this world brings. God, this season is just a little rain...not a storm. But I'm tired and weary of standing here letting this rain drag me down. Give me enough sense to get out of the rain and take shelter in you today.

I'll be honest. My problems...those that I've created and those that have been forced upon me...haven't gone away. They won't overnight. But my attitude has changed. My soul feels lighter, and once again I have peace. Not by my doing, but by His.

As for going to Peru? You bet I am!


Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...


Your prayer is beautiful...and it's the cry of my heart lately too.

Seriously, so wonderfully put.

Heather C said...

(((((((((((((((Melissa)))))))))))))) I so get where you've been, and where you are now. How precious of the Lord to remind you, in the gentlest of ways, of His presence and His desire to be your shield and strength! Thank you for being vulnerable with us and sharing your good days and the bad... inspiration can be taken from all of it. I'm blessed to get to share in even a small part of it. God bless you, my friend!

Jillian, Inc. said...

Sending prayers and hugs your way....You know I understand!

Courtney said...

I've been trying to hide the tough time that I've been having. The reason, I'm not sure. God knows how hard it has been this month. But you're words have shown me that I don't need to be afraid and that I just need to dive in to the Lord's word and let everything else go. I need to trust him completely. God bless.

Chris @ Come to the Table said...

It seems that when we step out and say "here I am Lord, send me", it is like we are inviting his purifying work and all that we hold onto to be burned away and cleansed so that all anyone sees is God working through us.

The troubles are just a sign that God is at work, but I know it is still so hard...believe me I know.

Alana said...

Like Heather, I wish I could give you a real life hug right now. Hang in there friend. Satan sure knows when and where to stick it to you, but we know who wins in the end!!