I was okay at first. Saw it for what it was. Then a week of having a bad cold, coughing til my ribs hurt and sleeping very little all combined to bring me to the edge of despair. A second unexpected (and possibly large) expense within the past month...well, let's just say I fell headfirst into the pit. Sunday night, I told the Lord I was giving up on Peru.
Monday morning, He woke me early to give me a beautiful Word:
And the Lord will create over the whole site, over every dwelling place of Mount Zion and over her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day and the shining of a flaming fire by night; for over all the glory shall be a canopy (a defense of divine love and protection). And there shall be a pavilion for shade in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge and a shelter from storm and from rain.~Isaiah 4:5-6 (AMP)
Lord, I need your presence today. Please be that cloud of smoke, and cloud my vision so that I don't see anything beyond you. Take my eyes off the circumstances that are weighing me down. Help me to see you clearly. I've spent too much time worrying about things outside of my relationship with you, and the ministries you've called me to here. Lord, narrow my focus on those things, so that all I see is you.
Lord, may your fire burn away all the junk in my heart. Protect me from evil, and shine for others in my life to see your glory.
Lord, I pray that your canopy of divine love and protection will stretch out over me and my home. Grant us shelter from the heat of the day, from all the pressures this world brings. God, this season is just a little rain...not a storm. But I'm tired and weary of standing here letting this rain drag me down. Give me enough sense to get out of the rain and take shelter in you today.
I'll be honest. My problems...those that I've created and those that have been forced upon me...haven't gone away. They won't overnight. But my attitude has changed. My soul feels lighter, and once again I have peace. Not by my doing, but by His.
As for going to Peru? You bet I am!