I'm going to press on, because I want to share what God's been doing. I thinking of posting weekly summaries of how I'm trusting and obeying, and what I'm learning. Hopefully there'll be a smattering of praise reports thrown in for good measure. I've got a HUGE praise to share this week, but you'll have to wait...
I'm hiding this Word in my heart as I begin to trust:
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord and to meditate, consider, and inquire in His temple.~Psalm 27:4 (AMP)
Trust is built upon a relationship. If I expect to fully and completely trust God, I've got to have a closer relationship with Him. I love how the Psalmist says he's going to insistently require that he be able to dwell in God's presence. I
I'm also learning that I've got to get out of the way and stop trying to manipulate situations where I should be trusting Him. Case in point...finances. R and I have made a budget, and are trying to be diligent in sticking to it. I've become consumed with trying to save money. Being frugal isn't a bad thing, but allowing it to take over my life is. I had convinced myself that I needed to make this work. I didn't stop to consider that if I'm spending time with God and asking Him how He wants to spend our money, the budget's going to work out.
I'm reading Trust: A Godly Woman's Adornment (On-the-Go Devotionals), which has taught me so much about trusting God. These short devotions pack a big punch...
God doesn't want our efforts at self-improvement. He wants our trust in His kindness toward us in Christ.
I can knock myself out with budgeting, planning, or whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish, but God isn't interested in that. He wants me to put it in His hands...and leave it there. That's where I'm struggling the most. Am I the only one?
I turned in my deposit for Peru! Yep! The money was due sooner than I expected. I set out a fleece before the Lord, and pretty much told Him that He needed to provide this money above our normal income...AND QUICK. And wouldn't you know it...R is getting a bonus for almost the exact amount of the deposit. Way to go, Jesus!
Six months isn't very long to prepare, and it's time to get moving. I know there's a lot to do, and many more areas where I'll have to trust and obey. For now, Psalm 27:4 has become the cry of my heart. I'm hanging out here until He tells me where to go next.