January 22, 2009

Trusting & Obeying: A Start

Okay, I've started this post five different times. Five different beginnings. No clear direction. I just can't seem to come up with an eloquent introduction chocked full of meaning (what else is new?). This journey of trust is so vitally important to me right now, and so intimate at the same time. It's hard to find words that make sense.

I'm going to press on, because I want to share what God's been doing. I thinking of posting weekly summaries of how I'm trusting and obeying, and what I'm learning. Hopefully there'll be a smattering of praise reports thrown in for good measure. I've got a HUGE praise to share this week, but you'll have to wait...

The Word:
I'm hiding this Word in my heart as I begin to trust:

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord and to meditate, consider, and inquire in His temple.
~Psalm 27:4 (AMP)

The Truth:
Trust is built upon a relationship. If I expect to fully and completely trust God, I've got to have a closer relationship with Him. I love how the Psalmist says he's going to insistently require that he be able to dwell in God's presence. I want need to be in His presence! I have access to inquire of Him, and to meditate and consider what He's telling me. Once I learn to really do that, I'll learn to trust Him more. I'll know what He wants me to do, and I can trust that He will bring it to pass.

The Lesson:

I'm also learning that I've got to get out of the way and stop trying to manipulate situations where I should be trusting Him. Case in point...finances. R and I have made a budget, and are trying to be diligent in sticking to it. I've become consumed with trying to save money. Being frugal isn't a bad thing, but allowing it to take over my life is. I had convinced myself that I needed to make this work. I didn't stop to consider that if I'm spending time with God and asking Him how He wants to spend our money, the budget's going to work out.

I'm reading Trust: A Godly Woman's Adornment (On-the-Go Devotionals), which has taught me so much about trusting God. These short devotions pack a big punch...

God doesn't want our efforts at self-improvement. He wants our trust in His kindness toward us in Christ.

I can knock myself out with budgeting, planning, or whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish, but God isn't interested in that. He wants me to put it in His hands...and leave it there. That's where I'm struggling the most. Am I the only one?

The Praise:
I turned in my deposit for Peru! Yep! The money was due sooner than I expected. I set out a fleece before the Lord, and pretty much told Him that He needed to provide this money above our normal income...AND QUICK. And wouldn't you know it...R is getting a bonus for almost the exact amount of the deposit. Way to go, Jesus!

Six months isn't very long to prepare, and it's time to get moving. I know there's a lot to do, and many more areas where I'll have to trust and obey. For now, Psalm 27:4 has become the cry of my heart. I'm hanging out here until He tells me where to go next.


Joanne : The Simple Wife said...

No, you're not the only one!!!

As I've taken over our finances, I too have been tempted to really take over--thinking about it all the time and manipulating every nickel and dime.

Fortunately, school has helped me let go because I simply don't have time to worry about it.

But, even with that, God has clearly said, "It's ALL mine." My job is to obey. He'll do the rest.

Love ya, friend!


Unknown said...

That's exciting. I'm glad that the Peru trip is working out.

Lisa Spence said...

I love your faithful chronicle of all the Lord is teaching you. I am so very excited about your trip to Peru (and just a tad envious...for which I will repent post haste).

And I too mirror the desire David expresses in Ps. 27:4--another verse that has been a lifeline for me at various points in my journey!

Blessings to you, sweet friend!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Two phrases struck me...

1. Trust is built upon a relationship.
(Some thoughts swirling in my head right now in regard to that. Thoughts that I'm not quite ready to articulate.)

2. God doesn't want our efforts at self-improvement...he wants our trust.
I love that.

Thanks for sharing. Definitely lots for me to mull over.

Lindsey @ A New Life said...

Hi there- found you from Pots on the Stove. I love this post and am going to pick up that devotional. I love your openness and honesty in writing about your journey.