And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way...~Exodus 13:21 (ESV)
I've already established that I don't like surprises. I.really.do.not. Which makes this journey, already full of ups and downs (and we're just two weeks in), tougher than I thought it would be. I like to see ahead. I like to know what's going to happen. I like control. So, the fact that I have none, zilch, nada in our situation freaks me out
When I look too far ahead (at the job market, the finances, taxes on R's severance, etc.), I am consumed with doubt and fear. When I look down the road, knowing what's coming, I want God to answer already! I get impatient, frustrated, and whiny.
But God...He's protecting me with a pillar of cloud I can't see past. There are days when following the cloud is easy. Then there are days when the cloud doesn't move, and the wait feels excruciating. (Have I ever mentioned that I'm terrible at waiting?) Those are the days when all I can do is lean on Him and pray that I hear His voice. I do not want to make a move without Him.
Even though I can't see where we're going, I will follow the cloud every step of the way.
I will move ahead, bold and confident, taking every step in obedience.
While I'm waiting, I will serve You;
While I'm waiting, I will worship.
While I'm waiting, I will not faint.
I'll be running the race, Even while I wait-"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller