November 5, 2009

The Gift of the Cloud

And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way...
~Exodus 13:21 (ESV)

I've already established that I don't like surprises. Which makes this journey, already full of ups and downs (and we're just two weeks in), tougher than I thought it would be. I like to see ahead. I like to know what's going to happen. I like control. So, the fact that I have none, zilch, nada in our situation freaks me out just a little.

When I look too far ahead (at the job market, the finances, taxes on R's severance, etc.), I am consumed with doubt and fear. When I look down the road, knowing what's coming, I want God to answer already! I get impatient, frustrated, and whiny.

But God...He's protecting me with a pillar of cloud I can't see past. There are days when following the cloud is easy. Then there are days when the cloud doesn't move, and the wait feels excruciating. (Have I ever mentioned that I'm terrible at waiting?) Those are the days when all I can do is lean on Him and pray that I hear His voice. I do not want to make a move without Him.

Even though I can't see where we're going, I will follow the cloud every step of the way.

I will move ahead, bold and confident, taking every step in obedience.
While I'm waiting, I will serve You;
While I'm waiting, I will worship.
While I'm waiting, I will not faint.
I'll be running the race, Even while I wait
-"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller


jenmom said...

Go Melissa, Go! I'm cheering you on in prayer!!!

Heather C said...

Me, too... beautiful post. I think what I love about it most is that it's so REAL. I love your heart.