Perspective

The LORD said to Moses, "Give this command to the Israelites and say to them: 'See that you present to me at the appointed time the food for my offerings made by fire, as an aroma pleasing to me.' Say to them: 'This is the offering made by fire that you are to present to the LORD: two lambs a year old without defect, as a regular burnt offering each day...On the first day of every month, present to the Lord a burnt offering of two young bulls, one ram and seven male lambs a year old, all without defect.
--Numbers 28:1-3, 11

Two lambs a day seems like a meager sacrifice for sin. Even the monthly sacrifice of 10 animals is a small price to pay.

I gossipped, but it's okay because my husband took our lamb to the priest this morning.

I cheated my fellow countryman, but I was the first one at the Tabernacle this morning, so I'm covered.

I coveted my brother's wife. Sure am glad I paid my sacrifice today!

Pretty convenient, isn't it?

And yet, there were 601,730 Israelite men over 20 years old (see Numbers 26:51).

1,203,460 lambs sacrificed every day.

6,017,300 animals slaughtered on the first day of each month to pay for the sins of their masters.

And it wasn't enough.

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!
--John 1:29

May you know Him and the glorious power of His resurrection this Easter weekend.

Crossing the River

When I started my journey in Numbers, I was a little hesitant. Now, I'm sad to be leaving. I've learned so much in this desert journey. To say that God has done some major demolition & reconstruction would be an understatement. As my time here has drawn to a close, I'm a little unsure of where I'll go next. I'm waiting on His guidance. I know there's a Promised Land on the other side, but I have to be honest...He's brought me to a pretty nice place now. I like where we're hanging out, me & Jesus. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to move on just yet.

The Reubenites and Gadites, who had very large herds and flocks, saw that the lands of Jazer and Gilead were suitable for livestock. So they came to Moses and Eleazar the priest and to the leaders of the community, and said, "Ataroth, Dibon, Jazer, Nimrah, Heshbon, Elealeh, Sebam, Nebo and Beon- the land the LORD subdued before the people of Israel — are suitable for livestock, and your servants have livestock. If we have found favor in your eyes," they said, "let this land be given to your servants as our possession. Do not make us cross the Jordan."
--Numbers 32:1-5

Some of the Israelites felt the same way. They didn't want to move on. After spending 40 years wandering in the desert, they finally found a comfortable place where their livestock would flourish. It was a good place.

It wasn't the best place.

As I read this, I immediately thought, "You idiots! You asked Moses not to MAKE you cross into the Promised Land?!"

And my Father gently said, "Melissa, how many times have I brought you close to the Promised Land, and you've refused to go in?"

Oh. Yeah.

But that was the old me. The new me is determined to get to her Promised Land! Whatever it takes...I'll give it up. The glimpses I've been getting aren't enough. I don't want to dream about it anymore. I want to hang my shingle there.

I didn't go to church much as a child. But one song from my childhood has begun to play over and over in my mind.

On Jordan's stormy banks I stand,
And cast a wishful eye
To Canaan's fair and happy land,
Where my possessions lie.

I am bound for the promised land,
I am bound for the promised land;
Oh who will come and go with me?
I am bound for the promised land.

*I Am Bound For The Promised Land
Rev. Samuel Stennett, Miss M. Durham, arranged by Rigdon McCoy McIntosh

My Brother's Keeper

It was all his idea. Honestly. My brother & I found a bottle of Mercurochrome. Wouldn't it be great fun to paint my hand with it & trick our parents?

(Let me stop right here & say that I worshiped my older brother. I would've done anything to make him think I was cool and fun to hang around with. To the point of being an idiot, obviously.)

He poured the garish orange liquid over my hand, and we walked into the house to find Mama. His arms around me. Me holding my hand up. I even managed to summon up real tears.

Daddy, who was in the backyard, had seen us outside with our heads bowed together. He realized that we were probably up to no good. We didn't know he was behind us when we found Mama. She nearly fainted. Fortunately, Daddy was there to recognize that my hand was not cut off. But by the time the punishment was over, I nearly wished it had been.

* * * * *
Faced with the Israelites' complaints (yet again), Moses & Aaron sought the Lord's instructions.

Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the LORD appeared to them. The LORD said to Moses, "Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink."
--Numbers 20:6-8

I'm sure Moses was just about at his wits' end with leading the stubborn, ungrateful children of Israel. How much more did the Lord expect him to take? Perhaps with all his heart, Moses wanted to be obedient. Maybe his frustration got the better of him. Maybe he was distracted and didn't pay close enough attention to everything the Lord said. Whatever the reason, he decided to take matters into his own hands, literally.

So Moses took the staff from the LORD's presence, just as he commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
--Numbers 20:9-11

Although the Lord allowed the water to spew forth, He was angry that Moses and Aaron didn't follow His command to the letter. Punishment was swift.

But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."
*****
At Mount Hor, near the border of Edom, the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Aaron will be gathered to his people. He will not enter the land I give the Israelites, because both of you rebelled against my command at the waters of Meribah. Get Aaron and his son Eleazar and take them up Mount Hor. Remove Aaron's garments and put them on his son Eleazar, for Aaron will be gathered to his people; he will die there." Moses did as the LORD commanded: They went up Mount Hor in the sight of the whole community. Moses removed Aaron's garments and put them on his son Eleazar. And Aaron died there on top of the mountain.
--Numbers 20:12, 23-28

My heart broke for Moses when I read this. Not only was he a witness to his brother's death, but he was responsible for it. His emotions, pride, and just plain human-ness caused him to disobey God. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one to suffer as a result of the sin. Aaron's life was taken from him, while Moses stood by and watched. I wonder...how did Moses feel when the Lord told him to take Aaron on the mountain and strip him of his clothing? To see his brother, with whom he'd ministered and witnessed countless miracles of God, naked before him and the entire nation. Was he filled with guilt and regret?

Just as Moses watched Aaron pay the price for his sin, Moses also paid the price for Aaron's. Aaron was with Moses when the Lord gave the directions to speak to the rock. Perhaps Aaron, more than anyone, knew Moses' penchant for impulse and emotion. When he first saw Moses raise the staff, he should have stepped in. He could have grabbed the staff and reminded Moses of God's command. Yet he looked on in silence as Moses disobeyed the Lord.

Friends, we are our brother's (sister's) keeper! Though it's not considered to be politically correct or tolerant, we cannot simply stand by and watch fellow believers disobey the Lord without warning them of the danger. Aaron failed Moses as much as Moses failed him.

My brother formulated the plot, but I knew that scaring my parents was wrong. Scared of what he might think, I went along with the game. In doing so, I let my brother down.

Lord Jesus, help me to love our brothers and sisters enough to stand up to them when they disobey you. Give me the wisdom and strength to reproach them in love, and to direct them back to you. Remind me to check my own heart and motives so that I am not sitting in judgment. May I love them as you do. Lord, I also pray that when I am disobedient, You will send someone to me to remind me of Your truth, and bring me back to you.

An Eye Opener

That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?" And they said to each other, "We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt."
~~~~~
So the men Moses had sent to explore the land, who returned and made the whole community grumble against him by spreading a bad report about it-these men responsible for spreading the bad report about the land were struck down and died of a plague before the LORD. Of the men who went to explore the land, only Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh survived.
When Moses reported this to all the Israelites, they mourned bitterly. Early the next morning they went up toward the high hill country. "We have sinned," they said. "We will go up to the place the LORD promised."
But Moses said, "Why are you disobeying the LORD's command? This will not succeed! Do not go up, because the LORD is not with you. You will be defeated by your enemies, for the Amalekites and Canaanites will face you there. Because you have turned away from the LORD, he will not be with you and you will fall by the sword."
Nevertheless, in their presumption they went up toward the high hill country, though neither Moses nor the ark of the LORD's covenant moved from the camp. Then the Amalekites and Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and attacked them and beat them down all the way to Hormah.
--Numbers 14:1-4, 36-45

As I read this, I heard Him whisper...Delayed obedience is actually disobedience in disguise.

Enough is Enough

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

*****

It started with a conference in June.

Then came a conviction in August.

A makeover in September.

A nudge in the right direction in October, followed by a good read.

And now, finally, I see what He's been up to.

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!"
~~~~~
"Tell the people: 'Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The LORD heard you when you wailed, "If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!" Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the LORD, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, "Why did we ever leave Egypt?"'"
--Numbers 11:4-6, 18-20

Throughout my life, God has lavished His blessings upon me. He's delivered me. He's provided for me.

It hasn't been enough. I've craved something different. Wanted something more.

More things.
More food.
More attention.
More time for myself.
More. More. More.

And He let me have it. So now here I sit, looking at the "benefits" of all the more. I can honestly say, I'm at the point of loathing.

Enough is enough.

Turf Wars

CJ accepted Christ in August. The first three weeks were glorious. We had a new child. Her spirit was so sweet that it brought tears to my eyes. Now, my tears fall in frustration and heartbreak. I can recall few times that I've felt more helpless. The past few months have seen many battles in our home. Too many to count. At first, I attributed it all to preteen hormones and general angst, but I've come to realize the source of the discord.

I've been naive enough to declare that I'm ready to get violent with S*tan. But I'm not. I can't fight him. I'm powerless. It's time to bring in the big guns.

When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the LORD your God and rescued from your enemies.
--Numbers 10:9

God promised a land to Israel. He also warned them there would be times when the enemy would come onto that very land to oppress them. We can anticipate the same.

The enemy of our souls has invaded my home. He's on my turf. I can't stand up to Him alone. It's time to sound the trumpet and pray, pray, pray. I may be smaller than the enemy, but my Father surely isn't. He's going to remember and rescue our family.

I'm banking on it.

Guidance

In August, my husband R. severely injured his ankle while jogging (yet another reason I don't jog...as if I needed a reason!) Nearly three months later, it's still painful and easily aggravated. He starts physical therapy tomorrow.

R. is an exercise kind-of-guy. This injury has thrown him for a loop (literally), and he's a little tired of it. Well, a LOT tired of it. Add to the mix that CJ & I were gone to New York last weekend and I'm leaving Friday for Women of Faith (where I finally get to hear this man speak!). It's easy to see why R.'s a little depressed. Suffering from cabin fever, he says.

I, on the other hand, am ready to just be home. Unlike Bev, I'm longing for a winter solstice and a break from these 80°+ temperatures. I want to just rest.

Sometimes it's hard to sit in one place, particularly when you've been told you can't go anywhere. It's equally difficult to keep moving when all you crave is to be still.

On the day the tabernacle, the Tent of the Testimony, was set up, the cloud covered it. From evening till morning the cloud above the tabernacle looked like fire. That is how it continued to be; the cloud covered it, and at night it looked like fire. Whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped. At the LORD's command the Israelites set out, and at his command they encamped. As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp. When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the LORD's order and did not set out. Sometimes the cloud was over the tabernacle only a few days; at the LORD's command they would encamp, and then at his command they would set out. Sometimes the cloud stayed only from evening till morning, and when it lifted in the morning, they set out. Whether by day or by night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out. Whether the cloud stayed over the tabernacle for two days or a month or a year, the Israelites would remain in camp and not set out; but when it lifted, they would set out. At the LORD's command they encamped, and at the LORD's command they set out. They obeyed the LORD's order, in accordance with his command through Moses.
--Numbers 9:15-23

Can you imagine how the Israelites felt? They went to be each evening with no idea what the next day would hold. If they got up and the cloud was still there, they were able to rest comfortably. If they woke the next week and it was STILL cloudy, they remained in camp, even if they were getting a little restless. If, a YEAR later, it was STILL CLOUDY, they didn't budge...despite almost certain stir-craziness.

On the flip side, there were probably times when they hit the hay late, dog-tired and wanting to sleep in. And, what do you know, they woke with not a hint of cloud in the sky. Time to move! Although they were probably exhausted and frustrated (after a weekend in NYC with two 9-year olds, I can relate), they had to go.

They submitted. They were obedient. Even when they probably didn't feel like it. Even when they had no earthly idea what God was up to. They watched the cloud. He faithfully guided them, and they faithfully followed.

Oh, Lord, I confess that I want to know what you've got planned for me today, tomorrow and next year. I grumble when you keep me in one place, and fail to see that you are preparing me for what lies ahead. When you're leading me on, I complain because I'm too lazy, tired or scared to follow. I want to camp out in my comfort zone and rest. God, make yourself as visible to me as you were in the cloud over the Tabernacle, and give me a clear vision of where you want me to go. Grant me an obedient and willing spirit, so that I may faithfully follow. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Gifts

Since CJ entered fourth grade, I feel like I'm back in school again. This year has brought a giant leap in the number of tests, as well as in the tests themselves. We spend much of our time studying. I've been asking her to review her notes, textbook and study guides and then I call the information out to her. The resulting arguments were terrible. I was expecting her to learn the way I always did, and becoming frustrated when it wasn't happening.

This past week, I took a different approach to studying with her. Instead of just calling out the information, I read it to her & we discussed each point. I sprinkled some questions throughout, and we talked about all of the information in detail. Afterwards, she told me that even though I think the old method worked well, it didn't. She prefers this newer technique. After seeing the results, so do I.

When I was pregnant with CJ, I was expecting to have a daughter just like me. However, she is, without a doubt, her father's child. And even though I know that, I still find myself expecting her to do things the way I would. Which isn't fair because, although we share DNA, we are entirely different people. God has given us different gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses in accordance with His plan for each of our lives.

It's the same among the church.

So Moses took the carts and oxen and gave them to the Levites. He gave two carts and four oxen to the Gershonites, as their work required, and he gave four carts and eight oxen to the Merarites, as their work required. They were all under the direction of Ithamar son of Aaron, the priest. But Moses did not give any to the Kohathites, because they were to carry on their shoulders the holy things, for which they were responsible.
--Numbers 7:6-9

God instructed Moses to disburse the gifts among the Levites, based upon the specific jobs He'd assigned to each group. He does the same today.

I teach adult Sunday School. He's equipped me for that with a background in communications and public speaking. However, He's not given me a mathematically-inclined brain...so He obviously didn't intend for me to serve on the Finance Committee. I'm technologically-challenged, so you won't find me on the Audio-Visual Committee, either.

I admit, I sometimes catch myself envying another person's gifts and talents, wishing for the same ministry. I forget that my Father has given me hand-picked gifts for a purpose He's designed especially for me. But in those times when I listen for His voice and follow His instruction, I realize why He's bestowed those gifts upon me and I am thankful. So thankful.

Sacrifice

I finished reading Colossians yesterday. As much as I could hang out there for a while, soaking in the goodness and pondering Paul's challenges to us, it was time to move on. So, I asked the Lord where He wanted to take me, and He directed me to Numbers.

For a mathematically-challenged gal like myself, I avoid numbers whenever possible. Still, He is so good & I could tell exactly why He wants me there.

The first few chapters recount the Lord's command for a census of Israel (hence the title of the book):

The LORD spoke to Moses in the Tent of Meeting in the Desert of Sinai on the first day of the second month of the second year after the Israelites came out of Egypt. He said: "Take a census of the whole Israelite community by their clans and families, listing every man by name, one by one. You and Aaron are to number by their divisions all the men in Israel twenty years old or more who are able to serve in the army..." All the Israelites twenty years old or more who were able to serve in Israel's army were counted according to their families. The total number was 603,550.
--Numbers 1:1-3, 45-46

God gave Moses and Aaron a daunting task: gather all of the Israelites together, determine who met the age and gender requirements, and make a record of their findings. Moses, Aaron, and 12 other chosen men were responsible for counting the men, one by one. By the time it was done, there were more than 1/2 million men who would serve in the Israelite army. (My Bible had a note that if you estimated one woman and two children per man, there would have been 2.5 million Israelites!)

I wonder, did Moses think God had lost His mind? Did he complain about the planning and effort this job entailed? Did he tell God to come back later, when it would be more convenient?

Would I?

Moses and Aaron took these men whose names had been given, and they called the whole community together on the first day of the second month. The people indicated their ancestry by their clans and families, and the men twenty years old or more were listed by name, one by one, as the LORD commanded Moses. And so he counted them in the Desert of Sinai
--Numbers 11:17-19

God placed Moses in leadership over Israel because He knew that Moses would be faithful to accomplish God's plan. If we seek to be Godly leaders, we must be willing to do whatever He commands...no matter how outrageous, difficult, or time-consuming it may seem. We must sacrifice our time, talents and resources for His purposes.

After the census was done, God gave detailed instructions on the arrangement of the tribal camps around the Tabernacle. (Numbers 2)

Did the Israelites grumble about having to pick up their belongings and move to a specific spot around the Tabernacle? Were they offended that the Levites got to camp right next to the Tabernacle, and that Judah was on the East, closest to the sunrise? Did they refuse to leave their comfort zones?

Would I?

So the Israelites did everything the LORD commanded Moses; that is the way they encamped under their standards, and that is the way they set out, each with his clan and family.
--Numbers2:34

God's chosen people were obedient to what He commanded. Likewise, if we want to see the Promised Land God has for us, we must be willing to leave our comfort zones and to move where He directs. When others get the "prime spots", we must accept that He has appointed us to a specific place for a very definite reason...even if we don't understand. Even if it hurts. We must sacrifice comfort and our "rights". Then we will find protection and blessing.

Even though I really dislike math, I'm sticking with Numbers. There's a Promised Land waiting!