July 2, 2008

Confessional

I've been thinking lately about why I blog. I'm not the only one. My friend Lisa at Lisa Writes (and does she ever) had great thoughts on the subject here. Go read it...now. Based on the comments alone, The Holy Spirit was all over this post. Who knew there are so many wonderful women out there who are as insecure as I am about blogging?!

I've been blogging on and off for two years. Like Lisa (and many others), I don't know how to categorize my blog. Sometimes, I write what the Lord has revealed to me; sometimes it's fluff; and sometimes it just rambles. And that's pretty much who I am...just an ordinary girl serving an extraordinary God.

I have to admit, I wish I were more.

If I were more, maybe I'd have a large readership and astronomical numbers of comments. People would care what I think.

If I were more, maybe I'd get invited to events and meet people. I'd be important.

If I were more, maybe I'd have a BIG. MINISTRY. FOR. GOD. I'd be irreplaceable.

I confess, I've been envious of others. Disappointed and hurt that my blog hasn't "taken off". Frustrated that my ministry seems minuscule and of little impact for God. I wanted to be so much more.

If I were more, maybe He would be less.

The truth is, others may be able to handle being more. I can't. So, I'm just me...and really, that's okay.

12 comments:

kim said...

And I think you're great..just the way you are! We all have our gifts and talents...we all fit in exactly where we are suppose to in this huge, crazy, body of Christ. I have gained a lot from your blog...you touch who's suppose to be touched with your words of wisdom. What I do before I type a post is pray. I pray that God uses my words to touch someone's life...works for me!

Love, Kim
www.journeytohannah.com

His Girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
His Girl said...

I think that each of us yearns for the more... that's good. we should want more of Him, to impact more of His people, to have a more effective ministry. Satan just wants to twist that yearning that God created- and morph it into selfish ambition. Keeping that drive for His purpose is done only when we focus on Him- which is what you are doing! I can see it in every post- it's Good stuff- and it impacts more than you know.

Amanda said...

Wow. Maybe it just shows a deep desires to be known, and to still be loved. We all want to be accepted and to just "belong".

"If I were more, maybe He would be less."

I've often thought along that line before. I think, maybe I just need to step back here. I can be me. And that's okay.

Good posts.

Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

Just a quick encouragement to let you know that you have blessed me!

I appreciate your insight and the ways you challenge me to think and grow.

Joanne

Becoming Me said...

That is beautiful so beautiful. I hope you can join my blog mission tour. I too need to remind myself often that I was not created to do it all and be all...I was created to love and serve My All in All

Lisa writes... said...

Thanks for the link! So it seems once again we walk a similar path; I too have often longed for another's calling, but then I discovered that I was seeking the call over and above (and hello? instead of) the One who calls. Though I sometimes forget, I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity to serve Him in whatever place He calls me to. Not because this one is able to handle this call, and this one the other. But because He wants to show Himself sufficient for me. He is enough. He is more.

Love you, friend.

Kelly said...

So well written, and what great thoughts. I am sure you have touched many with these words, and I'm so glad you are here.

much2ponder said...

Just so you know, I am one who stumbled upon your blog a couple of weeks ago and it truly blessed my hear. The post "going deeper" was just what I needed that day. It gave me some really important things to think about. You don't know me, but I have been popping in now and then ever since. Thank you.

Jill@Who Could Ask for Anything More said...

This is so very, very true. I can relate. But lately, I am wondering why some popular blogs are so popular. The writing isn't that great, they are full of self-depreciation, and the writers hold special events on their blogs and, from what I can tell, rarely visit any of the participants or comment. And I can't even figure out why they're called "Christian" blogs.... I wouldn't want to be like them, even if they are popular. I prefer my own pace, and my wonderful group of loyal and truly interested readers.

Alana said...

It's such a process, isn't it to find and walk the path God has for us?

I love your blog, always have and I think you do have a ministry in that you share your heart here.

I'm ministered to daily by blogs just like yours and mine which may not have a huge readership, but do a pretty good job of creating community. A community that helps to sharpen each other, encourage each other, and lift each other up in prayer. We may not be the "mega-church" of blogging, but we have a pretty effective "small group". Don't you think?

Love ya!

The Small Scribbler said...

This seems to be a recurrent theme of late in the blogs that I've been reading. Maybe because as moms we live small and quiet lives. But that doesn't make us small and unimportant. God's been showing me in the last year through the gospels and now into the lives of the prophets, he prefers obedience. Your obedience comes through loud and clear. Don't doubt your worth.


Kate