October 22, 2009

Back on Track

Recently, I saw myself in this post. I remembered how, before the Year of Peace and Simplicity, I wore my busyness like a badge of honor. How important I felt. How I rated my days by the number of things I'd accomplished.

Thank goodness I'm past all that, I thought.

Thinking about it long and hard, I have to admit, I'm not. Something's been missing in my home and in my heart lately. I first whined about it here, but didn't want to admit how bad things had gotten until I read how Jill says "NO" and Laura's confession of quitting. Then it hit me. Peace and simplicity had completely vanished.

It was a slow departure that most likely started when I was wrapped up in preparations for Peru. Returning home to the great bathroom disaster (and no, the remodel's still not finished) added fuel to the fire. Add middle school into the mix, and suddenly I didn't need any excuses to return to my old habit of rationalizing the busyness.

I've been taking a good, long look at my life and found it dangerously close to getting too full. I've learned (again) that when I am too occupied with things outside of my home, things inside my home suffer. Chaos comes quickly and easily. Once again, I've had enough. So, I've started to let go. I've stopped telling myself "I'll do it tomorrow" and "I can't take care of that until the house is back together". I've quit believing the lie that a full calendar equals a full life.

Instead, I've gotten back into a nice routine. Thought about changes I can make to create a home that welcomes friends and offers sanctuary to my family. Started making some of them, and formulating a plan to make others. The desire of my heart is for my family to want to be home more than anywhere else on earth. For CJ to look back and remember her childhood home as a place of love, peace, and restoration. For my home to be like a breath of fresh air...a Breath of Life.

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.
- George Moore


Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

Love you, sweet friend.

And your new blog look is darling!


P.S. And I think you're so right. It's never a deliberate walking away from simplicity, but more of a gradual thing where busy-ness creeps in little by little and disciplines slowly fall by the wayside.

I keep thinking of a line from some book or movie (but can't remember which one for the life of me): Constant vigilance!

Jillian, Inc said...

Love 'ya girl!....and your new blog design, too :o

Though I tried in my post, I cannot tell you the sanity saying *NO* brings to me and my family. My mission field and sole place to "volunteer" right now is in my home. I learned to say *NO* from my mom (though she served on the school board for over 20 years). And the thing I remember most about her is she was always there for me....not always doing things WITH me and entertaining me...but she was there every night cooking dinner, there on the weekends while I played on one side of the basement with my toy kitchen and she did bookwork on the other side of the basement. There every single night when I went to bed. There every morning when I woke up.

Big hugs!