The Church's Responsibility to Teens

Present circumstances - not the least of which is the fact that my girl enters high school next month - have caused me to do a lot of thinking about the church's responsibility to teenagers. As I look over the youth ministry landscape, I see a lot of events meant to entertain rather than educate. Ravi Zacharias, speaking of youth in this month's Tabletalk, said it well:  "Building their faith is not a prime strength in our churches today. We seem to think that we need to entertain them into the church. But what you win them with is often what you win them to."

Today's active youth group seems more focused on fellowship and service than discipleship. I don't discount the benefits of spending time with believers or our calling to serve others, but I question the profitability of a youth group that doesn't balance these activities with in-depth Bible study. 

Sadly, many churches shy away from such Bible study. Perhaps they fear they will scare kids away, or that it will be too much for them to handle.  I agree with Danny Aikin.

If our schools can teach our children chemistry and biology, physics and geology, algebra and geometry, political science and economics, then we can certainly teach them theology and apologetics, Christian ethics and philosophy.

Yet youth ministry seems to follow so many other ministries that promote quantity rather than quality. It's a mentality that seeks to keep us so busy that we don't notice what we're missing.

Parents cannot rely on the youth group as the sole source of our teen's spiritual nourishment. We must be actively involved in their theological education. However, the church also bears some responsibilities to its members, regardless of age (see Ephesians 4:11-16 and Matthew 28:19-20).

I believe our responsibilities to youth go beyond discipleship and equipping. In Titus 2, Paul instructs Titus of these additional responsibilities.  Women are charged to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure,working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (vv. 3-5) We cannot wait until girls are in their 20s before we begin teaching these concepts. Girls develop their ideas about dating and marriage while they are still teenagers. It is imperative that the older women in the church invest in the lives of teen girls to instruct them on Biblical womanhood.

Likewise, Paul instructs Titus that older men have a responsibility to train the young men. A boy needs to be instructed in Biblical manhood long before he can register to vote.

Teens need time dedicated to this instruction, apart from one another and the pressures of male/female relationships. Giving them this valuable time in a single-sex setting offers a safe environment where honest questions can be asked and forthright answers given. Ideally, such teaching will enhance and reinforce what is being taught at home; however, in many cases it will actually give youth vital instruction they aren't receiving from their parents.

Even though the concepts of Biblical manhood and womanhood may not draw the numbers churches might want, we cannot overlook the fact that the Holy Spirit compelled Paul to give Titus these guidelines for the Church. When youth ministries do not encourage teaching according to Titus 2, they shirk the responsibility of discipling participants and leave the future generations to reap the consequences.

Living Quietly: A Clarification

A dear friend contacted me about reducing the noise I contribute online, specifically the line Family accomplishments are to be celebrated, not paraded for public consumption.

She recently moved away from family and friends, and they keep everyone updated through Facebook. My post caused her to think (and, far more importantly, pray) about her use of social media.  I wanted to share my response (edited for privacy), to clarify my post.

Believe it or not, that one line probably was the hardest to write in that post. My immediate family lives near me, so I'm not in the position you are. And I certainly think it's wonderful to share your photos, etc. with your family. Facebook is a terrific platform for that - yippee for technology! My daughter is 13. Of course, she's mortified whenever I post anything about her. I try so hard to respect that, and it's rare that you'll see me post anything personal about her on Facebook or my blog.

I think where I draw the line is the intent of the post. Is it to update family & friends (celebrating), or is it because I want my friends to think my children are so cute/smart, etc. (parading/boasting) As with so many things, it's a matter of the heart. We are wise to check our motives before each post.

It's not often I agree with (popular Bible teacher), but years ago I heard her speaking about idols. She said she could come very close to worshiping her children and she had to be careful with that. I certainly understand what she meant, especially after having a miscarriage & many health issues that made my girl's birth a true miracle. Social media has the potential to amp up the competition among mothers and turn us into child-worshipers.

I know for me, for this time in my girl's life, it is wise to avoid posting about her. Again - most of my family lives nearby and so I don't have to rely on social media to update them. I certainly understand those who do, and in no way do I condemn anyone for taking advantage of such a resource.


Kim said it so much better than I.  Read her excellent post here.

Living Quietly: The Rewards

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

Our world thinks little of a quiet life. I, too, have wrestled with the reality of a small, quiet life. It is only recently that I have grasped its intrinsic value.

A stronger marriage.  My man and I love each other deeply, but I never want to assume that our marriage is unshakable.  A quiet life will protect our time together and enable us to better serve each other.

A stronger family.  As we prepare for my girl to enter high school this year, I am acutely aware that our time  is short. A quiet life will give plenty of opportunities to teach, laugh, cry, listen, play, and encourage. I want to savor each one.

A stronger relationship with the Lord. My life flourishes when I have meaningful time in the Word and in prayer. A quiet life, not crowded with meaningless activities, will give me that time each day.

A stronger contentment. I am most content when appreciate the blessings the Lord has poured out on my life. A quiet life will keep me from comparing myself with others, allow me to do the things I most enjoy, and help me see the goodness of the Lord.


Stronger friendships. I've been guilty of allowing technology to take the place of personal contact. A quiet life means not relying on social media or text messaging to find out what's going on in the lives of those who are dear to me. It will also give me time to send handwritten notes of encouragement and appreciation.

A stronger ministry. I have often missed out on serving others because I didn't have the time or energy. A quiet life, not overwhelmed by demands, will make it easier to open our home and to intentionally care for and disciple others.

A stronger witness. A solid marriage, a solid family, a solid theology, a stronger prayer life, a stronger contentment, stronger friendships and a stronger ministry  - as Paul instructs, walking properly before outsiders.  All shining lights so that others may praise God. (Matthew 5:16)

A quiet life requires thorough introspection and unwavering commitment, but it is a life well-lived. It is a life of incomparable worth. It is a life I intend to pursue with all my heart.