Captivating: Chapters 1 - 3

Before I start, a note. I haven't read what anyone else in the group has to say yet. I wanted to get my own thoughts down before I start considering what the rest of the group thinks. So, these are my first-blush observations. Take them for what they're worth...

I just finished reading the first three chapters of "Captivating", and I'm still not sure how I feel about this book. First, I've disagreed with a lot of what the authors have said. A LOT. I also don't appreciate their constant imploring...trying to get me to agree with their statements by asking all those confounded QUESTIONS (particularly in Chapter 3)! I had to fight the urge to throw the book across the room and say, "Enough already! I should've never committed to read this book!"

Okay...calming down, now. Since this is about the first 3 chapters, I'm going to try to make it short. (My husband would probably roll his eyes at that one. Once I get on my soapbox, it usually takes an act of God to get me off.)



Chapter OneI agree, women are tired. Not because we're trying to measure up to the Proverbs 31 woman, but because we're knocking ourselves out to measure up to the world's ideal woman. I guess I'm tuned into that because of the Bible study I'm facilitating, The Virtuous Woman: Shattering the Superwoman Myth by Vicki Courtney. I recently posed this question to our group: "Is it harder to measure up to God's version of the ideal woman, or to the world's?" Most of us felt it's easier to be God's ideal woman, or at least strive to be, because HE does the work! Trying to be the world's ideal woman is a waste of time & energy for most of us, and unsatisfying for all of us.

Women do like to be romanced. I'm a die-hard chick-flick kinda' gal. I'm a sucker for Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies. I love that God wired us that way. And, yeah, some days I wonder what He was thinking when He didn't give men (more specifically, my man) more of a clue on that subject. Still, one truth He's shown me over & over again...in all areas of my life...is that when there's a void, HE wants to fill it with HIMSELF! Not that I always remember that, or am happy about it. Sometimes, it would be wonderful if R would just open the car door for me, for Pete's sake! But, people fail us. They don't plan to. They don't want to. Maybe they don't even know they're doing it. That's when we have to take our needs to God & ask Him to meet them, or show us that they're really not that important. Again, not that I always stop to do this (women are, after all, emotional creatures!). But it sure makes life sweeter when I do.

There's more I could say, but I need to move on.




Chapter Two

I don't agree that Eve is the crown of creation. God didn't need to create woman. He wanted to. And maybe we need to see God's beauty every day. Personally, I also need to see His power every day. Overall, I felt John & Stasi were saying that woman is more important than man, because she was created last and she's supposed to be so beautiful. I don't buy into that. We came from man. As women, we're important to God (certainly we were important to Jesus while He was on earth) and we can minister differently than men because we have a completely different make up. But I just don't subscribe to the statement that we're the crowing glory of creation. God doesn't need me to be His crowning glory...He's got that one handled without little old me!

Chapter Three
Here's where the questions really started to bug me. I have a life of romance. True, R may not open the car door, and he stopped buying flowers as soon as he said, "I do". But, 13 years after the vows, he still comes home to me. He provides for our family. He still tells me he loves me. Yeah, I still come home from work to do laundry & cook dinner. I haven't found a way to avoid cleaning the bathrooms yet. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. My marriage may not be the Hollywood-manufactured type of romance, but it's certainly a testimony of faithfulness and servanthood, patience and love, mercy and grace.

I've also had a particularly dark period in my life when no one seemed to be available (see pg. 44). I was lonely. What God taught me was that I was relying on everyone but Him, and He wanted some one-on-one time with me. I tend to rely on people for validation. But when I start to look to them more than I look to Him, He brings me back to that place. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now...

Lastly, I really disagree with the whole dominant/desolate thing. Maybe we're prone to be one of those two ends of the spectrum, but I think most of us fall somewhere in the middle & it could change on any given day. It just seems that John & Stasi feel we're trapped in these personas and there's no way out. My question is, "Where is the Holy Spirit?" Maybe that answer's coming in the next chapters. I hope so...