Steeped in Sin

I'm a little late with this week's 40 by 40. Quite honestly, I felt the Holy Spirit bop me over the head with this one on Sunday, and I've been avoiding it. Still, He's persistent, that one! Forget about the fact that I haven't committed last week's verse to memory yet, He just won't let this one go. I know if I'm not obedient, He's going to MAKE me obey Him. In an effort to save myself some grief, and a bit begrudgingly, here we go:

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"
-Romans 6:1-2


I don't know about you, but where I'm sitting, the noise is deafening. It's hard to tell if it's the Holy Spirit telling me to listen up or if it's my own sinful spirit yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Probably both.

In all candor, I do NOT want to learn these verses. I'm afraid I'll be held accountable for them. That I'll have to give up those sins I like repeating. That I might...Heaven forbid...have to change.

You see, I've had my own interpretation of this passage for quite some time. I thought (maybe even hoped) that Paul was saying we literally can't continue to live in sin because God has saved us. That living in sin isn't possible for a Christian. Sure, we all commit sin, but that's just human nature & we're not really expected to be more than human, are we?!

But here's the thing. God really opened my eyes...which were pried shut...to see that Paul isn't saying that there's no way we can live in sin, but rather, "You've already died to sin...how in the world can you keep living in it? Why do you WANT to stay in the prison of sin when Jesus has set you free?!"

Ain't it the truth?

Why, oh why, do I want to persist in sin? How can I keep living in it? Not just "visiting", but moving in, taking up residence and making it my own?

I spent most of my life locked in its shackles and searching for a way out. Then Jesus opened the cell door, Praise His Name! I specifically remember walking out. I'm just not sure how I got back in. Wait...oh, yeah, that's right. It's coming back to me now. Truth be told, I've walked in and out of that cell so many times, I've beaten a path marking my travels. Maybe if I could just find the courage to walk far enough that I can't see the cell, I won't be tempted to go back. But I long for its comfort and familiarity...until I get back in. Then the beautiful facade crumbles and all that's left is ugly black decay. And I remember why I wanted to leave in the first place. The saddest part of it is that everytime I find myself back in jail, I wait around for Jesus to free me...but He's already done it! Why can't I see that the door isn't closed just because I stepped back in?

If we've really, truly died to sin, we won't be able to stand living in it. It will repulse, rather than entice, us. It will be so disgusting that we'll run as hard and fast as we can to get away. But we're required to totally die in order to have the abundant life Jesus offers. I've always hoped to die peacefully in my sleep. No suffering or pain. Just close my eyes and wake up at Jesus' feet. Dying to sin is not quite so calm. In fact, I've been kicking and screaming the whole way.

I haven't been ready to die.

And that's the whole problem, isn't it?

Melissa