I'm saying goodbye to my 30's Saturday. I've got mixed emotions. I'm sad to see 39 go, because God has done such an amazing work in my life during this year. Ending the decade with a bang somehow seems very appropriate. And I'm looking forward to what He's going to continue to do. When I look at the changes He's brought in my heart...well, it's indescribable. He's radically redefined my sense of home and family, and what I know is my calling in life...to create a home.
Until this past year, practically every day I would come home only to feel like 10,000 flaming arrows were being hurled at me. I looked around and felt utterly overwhelmed. When I'm overwhelmed, I shut down. It was a vicious cycle. I justified it all in my mind, giving the excuses of being a full-time working mother, with a part-time job, a husband who works swing shift, and church obligations. People would ask how I did it all, and I liked to make it look like I did. In truth, I was spinning my wheels. It was complete chaos.
There are three types of clutter that demanded my attention.
The first, and most obvious has been the physical clutter. January and February were dedicated to removing all the things that were making it impossible for me to genuinely serve my family and focus on the Lord.
I also sense that I need to work on relational clutter. I've got to assess the relationships in my life and determine which are God's best for me. I must face my need to please others, and commit to pleasing just One.
For now, I've shifted my focus to temporal clutter. Do I use my time wisely? Do I control my calendar, or does it control me? White space on my calendar has become precious real estate, and I'm not giving it up lightly. Empty days are the fullest, because they represent time I can enjoy my home and family, rather than moving from one activity to another without any true sense of purpose.
These days, I come home and breathe a sigh of relief. It's so good to be home. I'm creating a haven of peace and refuge, and there's no place I'd rather be.
Older, but wiser.