Go to work (where I'm hopelessly behind)
Go home (where I'm also hopelessly behind)
Avoid being productive
Go to bed
God has seemed far away these last two weeks. I know He's there and I see some ways He's actively working, but the intimacy hasn't been there. I miss Him. I've been a victim of my own circumstances and am bordering on feeling overwhelmed, which is not something I do well.
It was in my state of self-pity this week that He reached out and spoke to my heart about...what else...trusting.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.~Psalm 37:3-4
I haven't been delighting in the Lord much lately. I over committed myself in several areas, and have paid the price. Once again, I reverted back to feeling as if I had to be in control in order for my life to run smoothly...which is the complete opposite of the truth. As Lydia Brownback says in Trust: A Godly Woman's Adornment
We crave a life we can control, and if we give in to this craving, we are going to be tempted to wrest our circumstances away from God when He doesn't act as we think He should.
Do our attempts at an immediate solution mask an unwillingness to wait for God and to live by His timetable?
Guilty, on both counts. I can't seem to be satisfied with having God behind me. I want to see Him in front of me, doing great & mighty things. When He's not, I feel that He's forgotten me.
That is a lie.
And I'm not going to believe it any more.