March 4, 2009

As a Mom...

In response to my open invitation, Jennifer asked:

What do you think you do best as far as housewifely duties? What do you struggle with? And if you want, you could tackle the same questions about marriage and parenting.

In order to have more blogging material fully answer Jennifer's questions, I'm going to focus on them separately. First up, parenting.

We're right smack in the middle of tweendom, which is an emotional roller coaster not just for CJ, but for everyone in our household. In fact, there are times I feel as if I'm walking a tight rope and riding a roller coaster at the same time! Trying to maintain my balance while helping her deal with the ups and downs of hormones isn't for the faint of heart. A few days ago, it was "don't talk to me". This week we've entered the weepy part of the ride, so my job is to coddle and provide extra tender loving care. Anyone with a 10 -12 year old daughter can relate (oh, please! tell me you can relate!). One minute she frustrates me to no end, and the next she melts my heart.

Yet if I'm being perfectly honest, I have to admit that my biggest struggles as a parent are the result of my own sin rather than CJ's...specifically my lack of patience and unrealistic expectations. As I mulled over Jennifer's question, I thought about how many times CJ's told me that I expect things to be perfect. I believe, in her mind, this translates into expecting her to be perfect. I am a perfectionist, but I am far, FAR, F.A.R. from perfect. Still, this is obviously an ongoing struggle for me because I first blogged about it nearly three years ago.

I am mortified that CJ wrestles the perfectionist demon, as I have and still do. It's the trait I least wanted to pass along to her, but she has it in spades. Living with it in myself is tough. Knowing how to parent a child with the same trait is much tougher.

As far as what I do best, I wish I could say it's to show CJ how much I love her daddy and our Jesus, for that's truly my heart's desire. I decided that CJ could give the most accurate answer.

"I get lots of things I want." (Maybe I should list that as my biggest struggle!)

So I asked her if that was seriously the best thing about having me as her mom. She thought about it for a minute and finally said, "You love me and you take good care of me."

Good thing I didn't ask her last week. There's no telling what her answer would've been.






8 comments:

mholgate said...

Great thoughts! I haven't reached that stage yet, but I'm sure I'll be able to relate when we get there! My oldest daughter and child is 7. She is so sensitive (in a good way, and sometimes bad.) She already cries a lot. It's my "akelies tendon", so to speak. She knows I can't stand to see her cry, and I think that even at 7, she uses that to her advantage sometimes. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like when she moves into the tween years! Lots of prayer for patience on my part, I suppose!

Thanks for sharing here. I am glad to have the input of those who are farther along in the stages of parenting. : )

-Melissa

Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

Um, yeah...I can totally relate. Though I wish I couldn't because this stage is not a whole lotta fun sometimes!

Joanne

Lisa writes... said...

No telling what my boys would say either; on any given day the answer would probably vary widely even from son to son! Ah, well, parenting has this blessing (among many others): it reminds me of my own insufficiency and the All Sufficiency of my God...

Leah in Iowa said...

I'm in the trenches along with you, Melissa, with girls ages 11 and 14. I can't count the number of times I wished I could go back to sleepless nights with teething babies! Ha! =)

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I'm riding the waves of tweendom with ya...and it's not always fun. You are not alone.

Letters From Midlife said...

As a mom of three adult daughters and a teenage son still at home, I probably get more hung up over my own failures as a parent more than anything my kids did. At this stage of life I find myself wishing I had some "do overs" but I also see that God's grace has abounded in the lives of my kids despite my imperfect parenting. They have turned out well and the one that worried me the most shows signs of returning to her faith.

His Girl said...

for my son it was age 12 that almost did us in (boys really do develop at a different pace) my girls are teetering on the brink. they're 9 but JUST starting to be hyper-emotional. i am scared.to.death.

I totally know what you mean about this line "It's the trait I least wanted to pass along to her" oh, how i hate seeing my shortcoming in my children.

Alana said...

Isn't it so frightening when you see a trait in your child that you don't like in yourself? You're like..."nooooo...run far far away from those actions or thoughts!!!". I'm definitely seeing the perfectionism trait in both of my kids already and they are only 4 and 7! God help us all!