For one thing, I realize that I may unintentionally paint a portrait that everything's always peachy keen in our home. I've told R several times lately that I feel like we are in the midst of an especially sweet season of life. If you could peek into our home, you'd hear yelling some days (mostly me) and frustrated sighs (again, mostly me). You'd see unfinished projects and unpaid bills. But you'd also see a family that, at its heart, loves Jesus and each other.
We are not perfect. I am not perfect. As I commented to Meredith on her post (which, along with the comments, is a great read) I try to be real...to share some struggles, while being careful to honor my husband and our family.
I did open up about this particular event because I hope it will encourage others. God can take a horrible sin and use it for His glory. Would I have chosen for CJ to see pornography? Of course not. Do I wish I had been able to have "the talk" with her on my terms and in my time? Surely, I do. Am I angry that Satan robbed me of that right? You better believe it.
I have seen Him use this for our good. CJ & I have had many talks after that first day. Everything from choosing friends (remember her tug-of-war analogy? That conversation was a response to this event) to following God's plan for your life. It's an ongoing dialogue. I never know when she'll be prompted to ask a question, so I'm rarely prepared. She keeps me on my toes, this precious girl of mine.
One of my first prayers was for God to protect CJ's mind, and for her to realize that what she saw had absolutely nothing to do with love or God's plan for marriage. Given our current culture, that's a daily battle. Take, for example, the "family" tv show CJ tuned into last week:
We'll go out. He'll get into my bed. Then, all of a sudden, it will be a relationship.
The world has so cheapened God's gift to husbands and wives that we don't value it as the priceless treasure it is. And if we don't, how will our children?
This experience has stressed to me the great importance of being vigilant in my watch over my daughter. Not to imprison her, but to free her. To teach her to stand for God's Word. To guide her to be a woman who, above all else, honors Him. To help her seek Him and find the Promised Land and blessings He has in store.
It's the desire of my heart for my girl, and I won't accept anything less.
Memorize these laws and think about them. Write down copies and tie them to your wrists and your foreheads to help you obey them. Teach them to your children. Talk about them all the time--whether you're at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning. Write them on the door frames of your homes and on your town gates. Then you and your descendants will live a long time in the land that the LORD promised your ancestors. Your families will live there as long as the sky is above the earth.Deut. 11:18-21 (CEV)