I've made no secret of my desire to have a big ministry for God. In fact, I've blogged about that very struggle here and here, as well as here. Despite my best efforts, it just didn't happen. I even hoped to develop a big ministry through blogging. My husband reads my blog, and the comments, and tells me that I'm having a big impact on the lives of other women, but I haven't believed him. I've been looking at the numbers...thinking that since I rarely have more than 5 comments on any given post, my blogging is irrelevant. I've been discouraged.
Last month, I decided to approach blogging differently. In that time, God has completely redefined my view of ministry. Keri Wyatt Kent sums it up perfectly in Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life
If we say we value people more than stuff, then we can begin to trust God enough to let go of our addiction to stuff and live the value of loving people.When God called me away from teaching and into the care and youth ministries, He reminded me that people grow when they are nurtured and cared for. One point He keeps bringing up to me again and again is that I need to love others. In order to do that, I have to get over my own need for love and adoration.
Even if I have a large readership, an overflowing inbox of email, and offers of trips galore...it would be futile I'm not making an impact for Christ in my own backyard. Blogging is a great hobby. I've gotten more in touch with what God's revealing to me, learned from many insightful and wise women, and formed some true friendships. Still, no amount of comments on a post can stir my soul in the way a text from one of the girls in my Bible study group does.
Praying with 20+ girls each week, hugging them, talking to them about what's going on in their lives, texting with them throughout the week...it's all so much more than I ever could have imagined. What was out of my comfort zone has turned into the most fun I've ever had with Jesus. Investing my life in others allows me freedom from my addictions...the need for love, praise and feeling important. When I give those very things to others, God returns it to me in such abundance that I am nearly overwhelmed by it all.
Here's what I'm learning, friends: Living where He wants me is, hands down, the best thing I've ever done in my life.
3 comments:
I do think you make an impact blogging, but I'm glad you are finding enjoying this new ministry as well. Very cool!
Amen, sister!
I can relate on so many levels, I don't even want to go into it for fear it will fill your entire blog. Suffice it to say...I have been in this place also, but God has been faithful and he has shown himself strong each time.
My last few posts have to do with something very similar to what you speak of here. It wasn't until I was ready to truly lay aside my independence and become fully dependent on him that I began to see him at work again in my life.
It seems like once we get past a certain point with the Lord, the things we used to do to get close to him just don't cut it. He wants us broken so he can reveal his true treasure buried beneath the person we have created. Sounds to me like that is exactly where you are or are headed.
We can't totally rely on him when we try so desperately to do things our own way. Your blog blesses me so much and I look daily to see if you have posted anything. Hang in there woman!
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