December Thoughts

This space has been quiet for a while now.  I've been reluctant to put fingers to keyboard, to attempt words that could perhaps explain my absence - if anyone still reads and cares. There are a number of things I could write about...

~tears that threaten to brim my eyes constantly. When I set out the nativity Mama painted for me. When I hung my favorite set of ornaments from my childhood. When my girl decorated Dad's Christmas tree this weekend, just as she did with Mama each year. When I think about how strange it will be to gather in the church fellowship hall for a family Christmas gathering, with Mama's name etched in stone just a few feet away. When I can't help but wishing I'd known that last Christmas would be Mama's last Christmas.

~ a season that's been much busier than I've wanted it to be.

~that the parties and shopping have left me empty and craving something more. While I have prepared my home for Christmas, I've failed miserably in preparing my heart for Christ.

~the fact that 70° weather in December depresses me.

~the disappointment of a particular circumstance.  Being obedient to the Word of the Lord is sometimes difficult, even when I trust and believe that the outcome will be for my good. It reminds me that this is not my home, and for that I am so very thankful.

~the simpler, happier, more productive and less dramatic life I discover when I take a break from the internet.

~how much I'm enjoying Little Women, The Christ of Christmas, and Behold the Lamb of God: An Advent Narrative.

Trying to find words to expand upon these things either cheapens them or gives them more value than they deserve. And so, I return once again to my quiet and small life marked by an incredible and enormous God.

Living Quietly Revisited: Choosing Commitments

During this busy time of year, I need to give much thought to my commitments!

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

Thoughts of living a quiet life continue to woo me. They were birthed as the result of a particularly chaotic season in our family's life - several weeks of commitments every night. The activities that clamored for my attention soon lost their appeal, leaving me tired, cranky and empty. It also brought conviction.

Housework and paperwork, too long neglected, loomed large before me. I had sacrificed my duties on the altar of busyness. 

Merriam - Webster defines busy as foolishly or intrusively active.

Guilty.

A quiet life also demands answers to some hard questions regarding commitments.

Am I using this as an opportunity to glorify God? Athletics, community organizations, and other activities outside church can certainly testify to God's goodness and grace. Does my participation and attitude reflect that? Even in my commitments away from home, I must remember my calling (1 Cor. 10:31).

Is this helping me to grow in the Lord? Preparing Sunday School lessons offers that opportunity, as do taking meals to those who are sick and befriending parents of my girls' teammates. I must seek activities that help me to live in light of the Gospel.

Is this causing me to sacrifice my primary responsibilities to God and family? Even church activities can cause us to spend too much time away from home, or to be too tired to care for my family when I am home. I must be careful not to neglect my family in the name of serving God.

I am happy my man and my girl play sports, but I would rather splash in the pool with them than cheer them on from the sidelines.  I am thankful for my daughter's youth group, but I would rather learn God's Word with her than hear what her leader taught her.

If our commitments don't lend time for the things I'd rather do, they aren't worth it.

Reducing the Noise Part II (Revisited)

Still thinking long and hard about the noise I'm contributing to this wonder called the internet.

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

Living quietly means more than controlling the level of noise allowed into my life. I am also convicted of the noise I contribute. 

Social media has allowed us to collect "followers" and "friends" like trinkets on a charm bracelet.  We are compelled to share intimate details of our lives with complete strangers, yet we are ashamed to ask friends to pray for us as we wrestle against sin. We brand ourselves with carefully crafted personas, afraid the true person cowering behind the screen isn't good enough. We allow site hits to determine our significance.

We shamelessly promote ourselves instead of the One who deserves all glory.

In considering the noise I contribute to the social media frenzy, I ask questions that are somewhat familiar:

Am I attempting to drown out the voice of God? I must aim to glorify Him and Him alone in what I post. Family accomplishments are to be celebrated, not paraded for public consumption.

Am I infringing on my family's privacy? Sharing what God is doing in our family can be an encouragement to others and testify to His goodness. Sharing my daughter's struggles or my husband's sins violates their confidence in me. When sharing my own sins and struggles, I must be careful not to implicate my family in any way.

Is this relevant in God's Kingdom? I must gauge the importance of the information I'm sharing in light of eternity.

Will this encourage and help others in their walk with the Lord?  I must remember that even in social media, I am called to disciple and encourage others.

I have lovely group of Facebook friends  - women serious about the Lord, but not always so serious. Our bond in Christ has been strengthened by discussions on theology as well as our mutual affections for Jane Austen and OPI nail polish. I have close relationships with other women I've only met online, forged through blog comments, emails, and prayer.  I have learned much, grown deeper in the Lord, and laughed til I cried. I am incredibly thankful that God has enriched my life through social media.

I want my online presence to reflect that truth.

Reducing the Noise Revisited

The holiday season is full of noise. These questions may be harder to ask ourselves during this time, but they are perhaps even more necessary.

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

I've been pondering the quiet life and its ever-decreasing value in society.  Noise has drowned out our craving for quiet.  

                              Email.

                              Blogs.

                             Facebook.

                             Twitter.

                             Smart phones.

                             24-hour news networks.

                             Hundreds of television channels.

We have unlimited access to information, unfettered interaction with people near and far. But at what price? We've become desensitized to the constant droning around us. We are uncomfortable with face-to-face contact. We have exchanged flesh and blood for pixels and gigabytes.

Noise reigns in our lives.

Merriam-Webster defines noise

any sound that is undesired or interferes with one's hearing of something; irrelevant or meaningless data or output occurring along with desired information.

Keeping this in mind, these are the questions I want to ask myself - thinking on long and hard - as I seek the quiet life:

Is this interfering with my hearing God? I must guard my time in His Word before spending time in the words of others, no matter the source.

Is this interfering with my hearing my family? I must also guard my time with my family. I cannot forsake my responsibilities to love and minister to them.

Is this relevant in God's Kingdom? I must gauge the importance of the information I'm consuming in light of eternity.

Is this encouraging and helpful in my walk with the Lord?  I must accurately assess its influence upon my willingness to live for God's agenda rather than my own.

Some of the answers may surprise me. Watching Ina Garten may inspire me to try a new dinner that knocks my man's socks off. Reading so many Christian blogs may be pulling me away from spending time in God's Word or from meeting my family's needs. I don't know what it will look like, but I truly believe that asking myself these questions before I read, listen, or watch will have a tremendous impact on the noise level in my life.

A Quiet Life: Revisited

With the holiday season approaching, I need to revisit this series from the archives.

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

 Quiet.  One of my favorite words. One of my favorite things.

...low tones of classical music wafting on the air as I'm curled up with a good book. 

...hushed jazzy voices crooning while I clean our home or prepare a meal.

...absolute stillness of a dark morning lit only by a small lamp and the Word of God.

...crickets chirping outside my window as I fall asleep.

I enjoy a good football game, laughter, and being with friends. Yet it is in the quiet moments of my life that I feel most alive.

My soul craves quiet.

Perhaps it's a reaction to years of going, doing, and spending. Maybe it's a result of endlessly trying to meet others' expectations. I believe it's wisdom gained.

I've spent much of the last few days thinking about what it means to live quietly. I'll be sharing my thoughts here over the coming days and weeks. In the meantime, what does living quietly mean to you?

Thankful Thursday

Praising the Lord this week for:

~a freshly painted living room and kitchen

~the man and the girl I worked with to make it happen

~answered prayers

~refreshment provided by a visit to this church

 ~a new Bible study

~these words...

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ~1 Peter 1:1-7

Do We Really Need Strong Faith?

I recently heard a pastor share an analogy about faith that has given me much to ponder. Consider a frozen pond. If you walk out on it with great confidence and the ice is thin, the ice will not sustain your weight no matter how much you believe it will.  If you walk out on it with great hesitancy and the ice is thick, the ice will easily sustain your weight no matter how little you believe it will.  The strength of the ice is far more important than the strength of your belief in it.

It doesn't matter how strong our faith is if we're placing it in a weak god.

The god presented in many churches today is a weak, watered down version of the God of the Bible.

We've weakened Him in our emotional "worship" songs that have reduced Him to an object of our affection (often without ever making mention of His Name).  When my husband lost his job, we didn't need a god who was content to let us recline against him, feel him breathe and hear his heartbeat.¹ We needed a God who would strengthen and help us, and cause us to stand upheld by His righteous, omnipotent hand.²

We've weakened Him with sermons that focus on our efforts rather that God's. Many pastors are so busy telling us how to live for God, they forget to tell us why we should. My attempts to obey God's Word will will fall terribly short if I don't have a clear understanding of who God is.

We've weakened Him by our lack of knowledge of Him. He's not a fire-insurance policy. He is the Holy Lord.

I, I am the Lord,
    and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
    when there was no strange god among you;
    and you are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and I am God.
Also henceforth I am he;
    there is none who can deliver from my hand;
    I work, and who can turn it back?”
~Isaiah 43:11-13 (ESV)

The gospel reveals eternal realities about God that we would sometimes rather not face. We prefer to sit back, enjoy our cliches, and picture God as a Father who might help us, all the while ignoring God as a Judge who might damn us. Maybe this is why we fill our lives with the constant drivel of entertainment in our culture - and in the church. We are afraid that if we stop and really look at God in his Word, we might discover that he evokes greater awe and demands deeper worship than we are ready to give him.

~David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

We've weakened Him by convincing ourselves that He is here to serve our purposes, rather than us serving His.  We have forgotten about the One who laid aside His rights in order that God's plan might be accomplished.  If there was ever a man who deserved to have His own way, it was Christ. Yet, He did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped (Philippians 2:6).

It's time believers stop settling for a weak god. If we truly worship, know, and serve the God of the Bible, our faith need only be as big as a mustard seed.


¹"The More I Seek You", written by Kari Jobe
²"How Firm a Foundation", written by John Keith

Thankful Thursday

It's been three years since the rug was jerked from beneath our feet. Three years since we started forging a new life. We're starting to grow comfortable in this place that looks remarkably the same and yet radically different. Sometimes I find myself slipping into old attitudes, old desires come stealthily creeping. I don't ever want to forget how the Lord brought us through. I never want to stop praising Him for it.

He is giving us an opportunity to do just that. Dear friends are now walking that same scary path of unemployment. As we approach the Lord on their behalf and seek to minister to them, we reminisce about our own journey and the faithfulness of the Lord. Reading through old blog posts causes me to catch my breath in wonder. How utterly dependent I was upon Him. How far I feel from that now.

And so today I am thankful, deeply thankful. Not just for an opportunity to serve friends, but for His loving call back to a place of remembrance, a place to raise our Ebenezer and say that we are here only by His help.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.
~2 Corinthians 1:3-7, ESV

Review: On HIs Majesty's Service

Christian Focus for Kids has a wonderful series of biographies for younger readers (ages 7- 14).  The Trailblazers series is a fantastic way for children (and adults) to learn about the great cloud of witnesses who've gone before us, such as John Stott and Charles Spurgeon, and those who are still paving the way, like Joni Eareckson Tada.

When CF4K announced the Trailblazer Extravaganza for the month of October, I was eager to participate. I chose to read Helen Roseveare: On His Majesty's Service. I confess that I'd never heard of Helen Roseveare before. I chose this particular book because she was a missionary in the Belgian Congo in the 1960s, which is the setting for a book I recently read, The Poisonwood Bible. I was curious to know if the fictionalized account of a missionary family in the Belgian Congo during that time was accurate.

From the first pages of On His Majesty's Service. I was drawn into the account of the English girl born during WWII who decided early on in life to become a missionary. Helen studied to be a doctor and went on to serve many years in the Congo, in spite of political unrest that led to her capture and imprisonment for several months. The work the Lord accomplished through her is an amazing testimony to His power. Helen's love for the people of the Congo, her steadfastness in the face of great odds, and her unwavering faith in the Lord are a great example for children and adults alike. On His Majesty's Service is a well-written and interesting book.

Even though the Trailblazers series is targeted to children, I highly recommend them for adults.

Thanks to Christian Focus Publications for allowing me to read this great book.

Thankful Thursday

We celebrated my girl's 14th birthday this week. The Lord has given us many reasons to be grateful these past 14 years. This week, I've been thankful for:

~watching her blow out those 14 candles, surrounded by a band of giggling girls

~her stand for something she believes in strongly, even though it's been hard and has pulled her away from people she cares about

~the way God is growing her through this difficult situation.  Watching Him work in her life takes my breath away.

~coming home early from work one day, only to find her studying with classical music playing in the background

~watching her read while I prepared dinner. I nearly asked her to put the book down and help me. Then I remembered all the years I've struggled to get her to read outside of school, and I kept quiet.

~her compassion for those in need

~that her pick for Celebrity Day at school was someone to be admired, rather than one of the many lesser options out there. (True, her decision was made easier because she has the hair to pull it off!)

~picking her up from practice and listening to her enthusiastically tell me about her day. The words come so fast I can hardly understand them all. I drink them in as much as I can, because I fear the alternative.

My girl is far from perfect, but as her Daddy said this week, "She's a good kid." And she is. Not because of her. Not because of her parents. Only because of God.

For you formed my inward parts; 

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

~Psalm 139:13

Fighting for Your Girl's Worth: Part I

Today I'm at Out of the Ordinary, confessing my battle with finding my worth in my accomplishments, and in my daughter's.

Click on over to join the discussion.

Thankful Thursday

Praising the Lord this week for:

~A long-awaited answer to a friend's prayer. Not happening the way we thought, but happening nonetheless and it's wonderful to see.

~A double date with my man and our closest friends to see this show.

~Football, football, and more football.

~The opportunity to teach and discuss things of the Lord with my girl.

~Friday night in with a good movie.

~A husband who motivates, inspires, and encourages me.

~Our youngest niece's baptism.

~Our oldest niece's birthday.

~Opportunities to guest post for Elizabeth and Jessalyn, and on the same day. As I jokingly told Jessalyn, apparently I'm storming the internet, one blog at a time.

~These words:

...we have nothing. Recognizing our innate destitution and bankruptcy is so freeing. It so strips us of self-reliance that our busy heart is able, at last, to find calming rest. It tells us that what we need to do is stop milling about, trying to find something we can do to make ourselves better. All we can do is sit down & trust that he is handling it. He's got lunch covered. He's got eternity covered. He's got our sin covered. All we can do is sit down & let him serve us. Amazing condescension & grace.
~Elyse Fitzpatrick
Comforts from the Cross: Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time
(emphasis mine)

 and these:

"I would to God that saints would cling to Christ half as earnestly as sinners cling to the devil. If we were as willing to suffer for God as some are to suffer for their lusts, what perseverance and zeal would be seen on all sides!
~Spurgeon

and, most importantly, these:

 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~Isaiah 55:8-9

Review: the life of GOD in the soul of the church

Over the past few weeks I've been enjoying The Life of God in the Soul of the Church: The Root and Fruit of Spiritual Fellowship by Thabiti Anyabwile. The book is actually a series of sermons that Anyabwile preached at his church, First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman, regarding true biblical fellowship.

Anybwile expounds upon the theme of Henry Scougal's

Life of God in the Soul of Man, which urged Christians to practice "genuine, vital, thriving spiritual devotion." (p. 7) By exposition of 1 John 1, Anybwile concludes that "the essence and foundation of all true spiritual and biblical fellowship is the life of God in the soul of man experienced personally by believing the truth and share relationally in the church. (p. 17-18) Part I of the book lays the foundation for Part II, which is the practical application of how church members live in true biblical fellowship with one another.

Anybwile tackles difficult subjects with candor and urgency, as evidenced by this excerpt on the role of discipline in the life of the church:

If the church isn't a place where people are corrected in love and godliness, how will society ever be? What hope is there for an unbelieving, perishing world if not even the people of God are humble enough to receive adjustments? What hope is there for places like California or Cayman if the Christians in churches are not marked by the humility that admits wrong and accepts correction? (p. 110)

He details the both the importance and proper practice of spiritual gifts. Other chapters center on worship, forgiveness, acceptance, and partnership in the gospel. Anybwile begins and ends Part II with the call to love one another.

The Life of God in the Soul of the Church isn't a book for those who are content to sit on the sidelines of church life, whose involvement is dictated by convenience. It gave me much food for thought regarding the significance of the church in the life of the Christian. It opened my eyes to the fact that my life is not my own; I am to share my sufferings, comforts, worship, and gifts with my fellow church members (as modeled by the early church). Quite simply, it is a book that can change the way we do church.

Thanks to Christian Focus Publications for allowing me to read and review The Life of God in the Soul of the Church.

Thankful Thursday

~A date with my man. Sharing a pizza at our favorite local restaurant always does my soul good.

~Friends who pray.

~The bittersweet ending of a good book. I didn't want to let Francie go.

~The announcement of October's reading selection for The Book Club at Desiring Virtue. I ordered Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior the day Jessalyn told us about it.

~Thought provoking and encouraging discussions.

~Seeing my sister so happy as she said "I Do" to her best friend.

~The love and prayers of an older woman who ministers to me as a surrogate mother.

~Watching my girl mature physically, emotionally, and spiritually with more finesse than I could ever muster.

~The first day of Autumn.

"It is grace at the beginning, and grace at the end. So that when you and I come to lie upon our death beds, the one thing that should comfort and help and strengthen us there is the thing that helped us in the beginning. Not what we have been, not what we have done, but the Grace of God in Jesus Christ our Lord. The Christian life starts with grace, it must continue with grace, it ends with grace. Grace wondrous grace. By the grace of God I am what I am. Yet not I, but the Grace of God which was with me." ~Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Fighting for Your Girl's Heart

Today I'm over at Out of the Ordinary blogging about how to fight for your daughter's heart. Click on over and join me as we continue to wrestle this out together...

Fall Into Reading 2012

Katrina's Fall Into Reading Challenge 2012 is underway. I'm not going to be lazy and just send you to the Fall Reading List I posted last month. I'm listing them again, with a few updates. I've omitted the books I've completed or nearly completed since August, and added a couple for review.

Non-Fiction:
~Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption because her story touches me to the core.
~The Nine Day Queen of England: Lady Jane Grey because her story intrigues me
~Bringing It To The Table: On Farming and Food because my granddaddy was a farmer & Wendell Berry's writing captivates me.

Fiction:
~Little Women because it's been too long.
~Home because Lisa recommended it.
~Fahrenheit 451: A Novel because it's required for my girl this semester.

On Audio:
~John Adams because I admire him.
~A Room With a View because I know I'll be craving something British.
~Pride and Prejudice just because.

For Study:
~Gospel Wakefulness because I need it.
~In Christ Alone: Living the Gospel Centered Life because my life needs a shift in focus.
~Practical Theology for Women: How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives because I need a difference.
~Modest: Men and Women Clothed in the Gospel because this topic has been on my mind lately.

For Review:
~The Life of God in the Soul of the Church: The Root and Fruit of Spiritual Fellowship because the title intrigued me and you can't go wrong with Thabiti Anyabwile.
~Helen Roseveare: On His Majesty's Service because listening to The Poisonwood Bible made me want to learn about an actual missionary in the Belgian congo.

With the exception of books I plan to study, that's 1 book in each category per month. I'm thinking this is manageable, especially since some of the books are short or written for children. We'll see how it goes!

Is Proverbs 31 for Me?

I'm honored to be guest-posting at Desiring Virtue today on the topic of Proverbs 31. Before you're overwhelmed by intimidation, consider Lydia Brownback's words in A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything

“…we do well to see the poem as an inviting challenge rather than as a condemnation of what we haven’t yet achieved. What we are able to glean from her is a heart attitude – what about her heart enables her to live the life she does? Her life is a picture of what happens when everything else is Proverbs is applied.” (p. 166)

So, is Proverbs 31 for you? Click here to read what I've learned.

Thankful Thursday

Praising the Lord for:

~September, the first of the "ber" months, ushering in my favorite time of year.  In anticipation of Autumn, I've already made my first batch of pumpkin muffins. I think I'll be breaking out the Autumn decorations this weekend to further celebrate.

~A week of cooler temperatures. Hallelujah and Amen.

~A weekend visit with friends who are always so gracious in opening their home to us.

~A fine start to high school for my girl. The work load is heavier, and playing field hockey along with that means she has to manage her time well. So far, she's been very responsible.

~Such a positive response to Out of the Ordinary.  It's been especially encouraging for me to see the number of women who want to fight like a girl. My partners in this group effort are much more learned and articulate than I, so please check out their posts. You'll be blessed.

~Safety during automobile woes last week, and my man and my dad who handled it.

~Real foods. After eating out too much lately, I'm happy to be back in the kitchen to prepare nourishing foods for my family.

~Every juicy tomato my man is able to coax from one of 16 plants. My freezers runneth over, impatiently awaiting sauce-making day.

~For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit. (1 Peter 3:18)

I Still Remember

Lord,I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy...I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled.

~Habakkuk 3:2, 16a 

Eleven years have passed since that horrible, horrible day. Reading words I wrote in response all those years ago, fresh pain washes over me. I still can't comprehend the magnitude of what that day meant for our country. It's truly one of those "where were you when..." moments; the Kennedy assassination of our generation.

I was sitting at my desk, caught up in my daily routine, when I heard of the first crash into the World Trade Center. At first, I brushed the news off as just a “freak accident”. Checking with CNN, I quickly learned about the second hit. My work forgotten, I became engrossed in following the latest developments. As the hour passed, I could hardly believe the mass chaos and devastation unfolding as I was watched. Indeed, as I sat glued to the internet and the television, realizing the magnitude of this tragedy, my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound. I realized that life will never be the same again. Days passed. When I pondered this crime & the ramifications for our world, decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled at the evil which Satan had perpetrated.

Yet God reminded me that He is in control. Justice is His, and His will shall be done. Hijackers do not have the last word. Biological warfare does not have the last word. Terror itself does not have the last word.

My man & I had been planning a trip to New York. Our tickets arrived on September 12th, in a large white envelope with United printed large in the top left corner. We'd made reservations at a hotel that stood in the heart of the Financial District, unharmed but temporarily closed. We determined to keep our plans, and so we went on November 11th, two short months after the attack. The heavy stench in the air, tangible evidence that the City was still hurting.

We decided to visit Ground Zero on the last day of our trip.  I knew I needed to mentally prepare myself; I never considered that no amount of preparation would ready my heart. As it turned out, we got lost and without warning we were there, standing in front of Ground Zero in all its horror and stubborn glory. Tears filled my eyes immediately. Ash and debris fell around me as men worked to restore streets, water lines, and the subway system.  My heart was wrenched, devastated to see a parking deck full of cars covered in rubble. Cars no one was coming to claim. Looking at the hundreds of vehicles there, the loss became real to me. The statistics had been a number that didn't compute in my math-impaired brain. Yet I was faced with all these cars that weren't going home to a driveway, a garage, or a family.

Everywhere we went, people thanked us for coming. My Southern accent had given me away as a tourist. At the Broadway show we attended, the cast applauded the audience for our support. The Big Apple embraced us with a hospitality which, though not Southern, was warm and gracious...and more welcoming than almost anything I've ever experienced.

We stood in tremendously long lines at the airport. Watched as airport personnel rifled through our bags. Waited as my man was called aside for one of the random passenger searches. Stared in awe at the National Guardsman with machine guns standing ready. I was thankful, proud to be an American. Friends thought we were crazy to go, but I've never regretted that trip. It was truly a defining moment in my life.

*edited from the archives

Out of The Ordinary: Fight Like a Girl

Today is my first post at Out of the Ordinary.

The realization of my girl's 13th birthday hit hard, cold water poured onto my unsuspecting face. Only five years left. I thought about how fleeting those first five years were, from the time the doctor placed her on my chest until I watched her march merrily into kindergarten. Five years left to mentor, teach, love and lead. It seemed so insufficient. I determined to be more proactive, to redefine the course of my motherhood.

Click here to continue reading.

Discussion: Small Wonder - Foreword & Small Wonder

Elizabeth has asked us to think deeply about our faith; to affirm our beliefs; to articulate our defense of the Gospel:

As Christians, it’s a given that we have a moral responsibility to respond decisively to injustice and abject evil, but it’s equally ours to learn to contend for the faith in the face of peace-loving and socially conscious secular reason and thought. All too often, we’ve not adequately prepared to give a reason for the hope that we have, so we either run and hide, fight too hard, or let things go bust. But nobody wins when that happens.

Encouraged - and a little intimidated - by this challenge, I am jumping in to the discussion of Small Wonder, a collection of essays by Barbara Kingsolver. I've just finished listening to perhaps Kingsolver's best-known work, The Poisonwood Bible, which introduced me to her eloquent prose and her strong beliefs about politics and religion.  It also made this task a bit more daunting. Nonetheless, I have great hopes for this discussion.

Kingsolver began writing Small Wonder on September 12, 2011. It started as her own cathartic means of dealing with this unspeakable evil. "Writing, which was both painful and palliative for me, turned out to be my own way of giving blood in a crisis." (Foreword) The first essay, Small Wonder, is her emotionally-charged response in the aftermath of the tragedy. It is clear that the events of that day shook her to the core, inciting her search for answers. Rather than comment on the essay itself, I have chosen one passage that made my heart ache.

[I] have spent a lifetime learning to believe in things that can never burn down. I can invest my heart's desire and the work of my hands in things that will outlive me. Although it grieves me that houses are burning, I have fallen in love with a river that runs through a desert, a rain forest at the edge of night, the right of a species to persist in its own wild place, and the words I might assemble to tell their stories. I've fallen in love with freedom regardless, and the entitlement of a woman to get a move on, equipped with boots that fit and opinions that might matter.  The treasures I carry closest to my heart are things I can't own: the curve of a five-year-old's forehead in profile, and the vulnerable expectation in the hand that reaches for mine as we cross the street. The wake-up call of birds in a forest. The intensity of the light fifteen minutes before the end of the day; the color wash of a sunset on mountains; the ripe sphere of that same sun hanging low in a dusty sky in a breathtaking photograph from Afghanistan...Small change, small wonders - these are the currency of my endurance and ultimately of my life. (20-21)

Kingsolver has realized that the material things in life are temporary, unworthy of our idolatry. This is a noble acknowledgment; however, in her search for something more, she has been deceived into worshiping creation rather than the Creator. I immediately thought of Paul's words in Romans:

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. 

~Romans 1:18-20, ESV

Paul goes on to write that no one understands; no one seeks for God (Romans 3:11). Kingsolver's words are confirmation. She's not seeking the One True God; she's already found her gods and believes they offer her a life of truth and substance. Our world, our country, our neighborhoods are filled with people who feel the same. They find hope in their children, in the beauty of nature, in a myriad of things. We are surrounded by people who hurt, who just want to feel better. They medicate themselves with various comforts, striving desperately to numb the pain.

How do we, as Believers, begin to minister to those who have set their hopes on these lesser gods? I believe we are wise to start with Peter's instruction to love one another earnestly from a pure heart. (1 Peter 1:22) I confess my struggles in this area - frustration with hardened hearts, impatience with those drowning in sin and death, pride and an ugly sense of entitlement to the grace I have done nothing to deserve. 

Loving from a pure heart demands that I share the Gospel. Yes, some - perhaps many - will reject it. I must remember that it's not my job to save people, only to glorify God by being obedient to His command.

I look forward to this challenge of Elizabeth's. To be encouraged by what others are learning, read the discussion on the Foreword and Small Wonder here.
 

A Blind Eye

The September issue of Smithsonian Magazine includes an interesting article about the study of inattentional blindness. In one experiment, author Daniel Simons asked subjects to jog behind a man and count the number of times he touched his hat while jogging.  As they ran, they passed two men apparently beating a third. During the day, more than 40% of those participating didn't see the fight. At night, that number increased to over 65%. (source)  Simons writes:

How could they miss something right before their eyes? This form of invisibility depends not on the limits of the eye, but on the limits of the mind. We consciously see only a small subset of our visual world, and when our attention is focused on one thing, we fail to notice other, unexpected things around us—including those we might want to see. (emphasis mine)

How many times have I been so fixated upon something in front of me that other parts of my surroundings become invisible?

I ignore those around me because I am so focused on accomplishing the task at hand. Dinner on the stove and piles of laundry cause me to avert my eyes from my family's greater needs.

I ignore those around me because I am so focused on what I want. A good book or television show beckon more loudly than the voices of my loved ones.

I ignore those around me because I am so content in my own little world. The pleasures of home entice me far more than the hardships of my neighbors.

I ignore God because I am so complacent in my feeble faith. The riches of His mercy and grace fade in comparison to wealth of knowledge I carelessly (and mistakenly) profess. 

My narrow focus keeps me from seeing the unexpected - the conversation my girl wants to have, the attention my husband needs, the hurt in my neighbor's eyes, the treasure in the Lord's Word. They are lost to me because of my inattentional blindness.

As I grieve over this knowledge of my sin, I am thankful that God does not suffer from this same limitation. I am thankful that nothing is hidden from his sight (Heb. 4:13, Psalm 139:7, Prov. 15:3). I am thankful that there is coming a day when every eye shall see Him (Rev. 1:7), including my own, and my blindness shall be no more.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Cor. 13:12)

Thankful Thursday

Praising the Lord for:

~Weekend dates. My man and girl had one Friday night, while she & I had one Saturday night. Hopefully he & I will have one soon.

~Safety during a rash of recent thunderstorms

~The opportunity to minister to my youth girls these past few years. Circumstances have taken me away from that ministry for the upcoming year and I'm heartbroken. However, I'm reminding myself how blessed I was to teach them, and that God is sovereign even in this.

~Dinner time conversations as we three read through Voices From The Past - Puritan Devotional Readings

~The end of an eventful summer

~Thoughtful discussions of the iron-sharpening sort

~The upcoming launch of a new group blog. I am deeply humbled to be associated with these women.

~These words: "God's grace is his unceasing loving commitment to a race that has acted in a way that not only does not deserve such love, but actually deserves the very opposite." ~Graeme Goldsworthy

~And these: "The Gospel is called the ‘good news’ because it addresses the most serious problem that you and I have as human beings, and that problem is simply this: God is holy and He is just, and I’m not." ~R.C. Sproul

~Most importantly, these:

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
    our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return, O my soul, to your rest;
    for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

~Psalm 116:5-7

Thankful Thursday

Thanking the Lord this week for:

~hugs and giggles from a 3-year old overnight guest

~completed projects around the house

~the man who's completed those projects

~the girl who's helped the man complete those projects

~cooler temperatures

~rain

~one last date with my college girls

~my girl saying "Nanny taught me..."

~upcoming opportunities to write outside of this little blog

~a visit with a widower in our church family

~impromptu ice cream dates

What shall I render to the Lord
    for all his benefits to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
    and call on the name of the Lord,
I will pay my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people.

~Psalm 116:12-14

Review: The Yankee Officer and the Southern Belle

The Yankee Officer and the Southern Belle: A Journey of Love Across Africa is an autobiography written by Nell Robertson Chinchen.  Nell and her husband Jack have served as missionaries in Africa for more than four decades.

The Chinchens were married shortly after World War II. They'd been married for several years before Nell realized her need for the Lord, and longer before Jack would become a believer.  But the Gospel grabbed him tight and didn't let go.  The couple, along with their four children, soon left everything behind for Jack (who, by this time, was in his mid-thirties) to follow the Lord's call to seminary.  After serving in churches herein the US, the family accepted an opportunity to serve as missionaries in Liberia, Africa. 45-year old Jack, Nell and four of their seven children packed their belongings and headed to the jungle.

Waiting on the other side of the Atlantic was a multitude of people. Some had walked for two days to get out of the jungle and then had taken money-buses, and had even slept in the airport, in order to greet us as we arrived in Liberia!...We didn't realize that they were waiting for US until we got off the plane and were completely enveloped in the loving arms of these tribal people who had waited for so long for someone to come and live among them and teach them the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ....We have often said, "What if?' 'What if we had not kept going?' 'What if we had turned back?'(pp. 43-44)

Reading The Yankee Officer and the Southern Belle is like having Nell Chinchen in your kitchen, relating her amazing stories over a cup of something warm and cozy. Her narrative isn't necessarily in chronological order and is, quite honestly, difficult to follow at times. But I felt as if I was catching up with a dear friend.

The book also gave me a new appreciation for missionaries, especially the two young families from my church who are serving overseas. Sometimes we here in the US romanticize the mission field. Nell's story certainly changed my view.  The family has survived fires that destroyed their homes, rebel invasions, and the deaths of many who were close to them. Yet through it all, they have seen the goodness of the Lord.

Investment in LIVES is never a waste. And as we build Bible Colleges across this unstable, volatile African Continent, we are not considering the cost if the buildings do not last forever. We are building men and women for eternity. They will last forever. (p. 174)

I'd like to thank Christian Focus Publications for allowing me to review The Yankee Officer and the Southern Belle as part of a blog tour for the book.

Fall Reading List

 Cooler, shorter days lead to cooler, longer nights. As we gear up for the school routine, the promise of quiet evenings curled up with my favorite quilt and a good book brings a smile to my face. I am trying to be more intentional and more productive in my reading, and hoping a reading list will serve as an impetus to meeting this goal.

Non-Fiction:
~Small Wonder because Elizabeth has challenged me to read it.
~Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption because her story touches me to the core.
~The Nine Day Queen of England: Lady Jane Grey because her story intrigues me
~Bringing It To The Table: On Farming and Food because my granddaddy was a farmer & Wendell Berry's writing captivates me.

Fiction:
~Little Women because it's been too long.
~Home because Lisa recommended it.
~Fahrenheit 451: A Novel because it's required for my girl this semester.
~The Giver because it's also required for my girl.

On Audio:
~The Poisonwood Bible because I've heard it's wonderful.
~John Adams because I admire him.
~A Tree Grows in Brooklyn because I've never read it & heard that I should.
~A Room With a View because I know I'll be craving something British.

For Study:
~A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything because I'm reading with Jessalyn.
~Gospel Wakefulness because I need it.
~A Proverbs Driven Life: Timeless Wisdom for Your Words, Work, Wealth, and Relationships because I need this, too.
~In Christ Alone: Living the Gospel Centered Life because my life needs a shift in focus.
~Practical Theology for Women: How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives because I need a difference.

 

Thankful Thursday

Praising the Lord this week for:

~A man who corrects me gracefully, encourages me constantly, and loves me fiercely

~An ever-strengthening bond with my girl.  The Lord is knitting our hearts together as she grows; I pray it will continue throughout her teenage years

~Love and encouragement from a substitute mother.

~Beautiful, haunting words

~The Lord's comfort and hope in a difficult situation

~The upcoming launch of a new blog, which I am privileged and honored to take part in with a group of wonderful Christian women.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
    and his courts with praise!
    Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;
    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations.

~Psalm 100:4-5 (ESV)

Modern Ministry Miscues

Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to trends I see in the modern church. Human tendencies toward self-confidence and self-sufficiency have led to the creation of ministry models that are man-centered rather than God-centered. The result is an overwhelming number of churches that are more style than substance.

We plan events and implement programs, certain that our efforts will reach people for Christ. We  disregard Jesus' words in John 6:44, No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. If we don't get the numbers we expect, we plan more and work harder.

Why have we not realized that these modern ministry techniques are not based on Scripture?  Have we ever considered:

Jesus wasn't "seeker friendly". The rich young man wasn't willing to be obedient to Jesus' command to sell his possessions and give to the poor.  Jesus didn't follow after him  to offer a compromise or beg him to change his mind. He let the young man go because He knew that not everyone will respond to the Gospel. (Mark 10:17-27)

Jesus didn't call us to convert everyone to Christianity. The Great Commission instructs us to make disciples, not converts. (Matthew 28:19-20)  As the Word Incarnate, Jesus spent His ministry teaching the disciples about Himself.  He modeled discipleship for them. He was intentional in His relationship with them.  "...[He] gave himself in depth to 12 disciples, not refusing to bless the masses, but not neglecting to invest in the few." (source)

Here is where we must begin like Jesus. It will be slow, tedious, painful, and probably unnoticed by people at first, but the end result will be glorious, even if we don't live to see it. Seen this way, though, it becomes a big decision in the ministry. We must decide where we want our ministry to count---in the momentary applause of popular recognition or in the reproduction of our lives in a few chosen people who will carry on our work after we have gone. (source)

Jesus didn't become like the masses in order to win them.  Jesus met people where they were, but He never offered Himself as a substitute for an earthly pleasure. Jesus told His disciples that He had called them out of the world (John 15:19). Likewise, we are not to conform to or love the things of this world (Romans 12: 2, 1 John 2:15-17).  Are "Christian alternatives" setting us apart or helping us fit in?

The first century church didn't have strategy sessions and long-range planning committees. In Acts 2:42 - 47, Luke tells us that the believers were devoted to teaching and fellowship. They took care of each other, prayed together, and spent time together. They lived their lives according to the ministry principles Jesus had modeled for them. They understood the function of the Church is to disciple obedient believers to go out and do the same (Ephesians 4:11-16).  The result was that God increased their number every day. 


Now there's a program worth following.

Thankful Thursday

It's been a strange summer - a girl too often gone, a schedule too filled, temperatures too hot, circumstances too difficult and grief too fresh. I have allowed myself to become mired in self-pity and melancholy.

Yet today I look to the words of Psalm 116 and see myself.

And I am reminded to be thankful.  This week, I'm thanking the Lord fo:

~Lunch with a sweet friend and her beautiful daughter.

~Words of encouragement

~Hot tea

~Cold medicine

~My caring husband and daughter

~Long-awaited good news from family

~A thought-provoking Bible study

~Iron-sharpening friends

~Tomato plants full of fruit

~A new ministry opportunity (more to come on that soon)

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
    our God is merciful.

The Lord preserves the simple;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

~Psalm 116:5-6

The Church's Responsibility to Teens

Present circumstances - not the least of which is the fact that my girl enters high school next month - have caused me to do a lot of thinking about the church's responsibility to teenagers. As I look over the youth ministry landscape, I see a lot of events meant to entertain rather than educate. Ravi Zacharias, speaking of youth in this month's Tabletalk, said it well:  "Building their faith is not a prime strength in our churches today. We seem to think that we need to entertain them into the church. But what you win them with is often what you win them to."

Today's active youth group seems more focused on fellowship and service than discipleship. I don't discount the benefits of spending time with believers or our calling to serve others, but I question the profitability of a youth group that doesn't balance these activities with in-depth Bible study. 

Sadly, many churches shy away from such Bible study. Perhaps they fear they will scare kids away, or that it will be too much for them to handle.  I agree with Danny Aikin.

If our schools can teach our children chemistry and biology, physics and geology, algebra and geometry, political science and economics, then we can certainly teach them theology and apologetics, Christian ethics and philosophy.

Yet youth ministry seems to follow so many other ministries that promote quantity rather than quality. It's a mentality that seeks to keep us so busy that we don't notice what we're missing.

Parents cannot rely on the youth group as the sole source of our teen's spiritual nourishment. We must be actively involved in their theological education. However, the church also bears some responsibilities to its members, regardless of age (see Ephesians 4:11-16 and Matthew 28:19-20).

I believe our responsibilities to youth go beyond discipleship and equipping. In Titus 2, Paul instructs Titus of these additional responsibilities.  Women are charged to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure,working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (vv. 3-5) We cannot wait until girls are in their 20s before we begin teaching these concepts. Girls develop their ideas about dating and marriage while they are still teenagers. It is imperative that the older women in the church invest in the lives of teen girls to instruct them on Biblical womanhood.

Likewise, Paul instructs Titus that older men have a responsibility to train the young men. A boy needs to be instructed in Biblical manhood long before he can register to vote.

Teens need time dedicated to this instruction, apart from one another and the pressures of male/female relationships. Giving them this valuable time in a single-sex setting offers a safe environment where honest questions can be asked and forthright answers given. Ideally, such teaching will enhance and reinforce what is being taught at home; however, in many cases it will actually give youth vital instruction they aren't receiving from their parents.

Even though the concepts of Biblical manhood and womanhood may not draw the numbers churches might want, we cannot overlook the fact that the Holy Spirit compelled Paul to give Titus these guidelines for the Church. When youth ministries do not encourage teaching according to Titus 2, they shirk the responsibility of discipling participants and leave the future generations to reap the consequences.

Living Quietly: A Clarification

A dear friend contacted me about reducing the noise I contribute online, specifically the line Family accomplishments are to be celebrated, not paraded for public consumption.

She recently moved away from family and friends, and they keep everyone updated through Facebook. My post caused her to think (and, far more importantly, pray) about her use of social media.  I wanted to share my response (edited for privacy), to clarify my post.

Believe it or not, that one line probably was the hardest to write in that post. My immediate family lives near me, so I'm not in the position you are. And I certainly think it's wonderful to share your photos, etc. with your family. Facebook is a terrific platform for that - yippee for technology! My daughter is 13. Of course, she's mortified whenever I post anything about her. I try so hard to respect that, and it's rare that you'll see me post anything personal about her on Facebook or my blog.

I think where I draw the line is the intent of the post. Is it to update family & friends (celebrating), or is it because I want my friends to think my children are so cute/smart, etc. (parading/boasting) As with so many things, it's a matter of the heart. We are wise to check our motives before each post.

It's not often I agree with (popular Bible teacher), but years ago I heard her speaking about idols. She said she could come very close to worshiping her children and she had to be careful with that. I certainly understand what she meant, especially after having a miscarriage & many health issues that made my girl's birth a true miracle. Social media has the potential to amp up the competition among mothers and turn us into child-worshipers.

I know for me, for this time in my girl's life, it is wise to avoid posting about her. Again - most of my family lives nearby and so I don't have to rely on social media to update them. I certainly understand those who do, and in no way do I condemn anyone for taking advantage of such a resource.


Kim said it so much better than I.  Read her excellent post here.

Living Quietly: The Rewards

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

Our world thinks little of a quiet life. I, too, have wrestled with the reality of a small, quiet life. It is only recently that I have grasped its intrinsic value.

A stronger marriage.  My man and I love each other deeply, but I never want to assume that our marriage is unshakable.  A quiet life will protect our time together and enable us to better serve each other.

A stronger family.  As we prepare for my girl to enter high school this year, I am acutely aware that our time  is short. A quiet life will give plenty of opportunities to teach, laugh, cry, listen, play, and encourage. I want to savor each one.

A stronger relationship with the Lord. My life flourishes when I have meaningful time in the Word and in prayer. A quiet life, not crowded with meaningless activities, will give me that time each day.

A stronger contentment. I am most content when appreciate the blessings the Lord has poured out on my life. A quiet life will keep me from comparing myself with others, allow me to do the things I most enjoy, and help me see the goodness of the Lord.


Stronger friendships. I've been guilty of allowing technology to take the place of personal contact. A quiet life means not relying on social media or text messaging to find out what's going on in the lives of those who are dear to me. It will also give me time to send handwritten notes of encouragement and appreciation.

A stronger ministry. I have often missed out on serving others because I didn't have the time or energy. A quiet life, not overwhelmed by demands, will make it easier to open our home and to intentionally care for and disciple others.

A stronger witness. A solid marriage, a solid family, a solid theology, a stronger prayer life, a stronger contentment, stronger friendships and a stronger ministry  - as Paul instructs, walking properly before outsiders.  All shining lights so that others may praise God. (Matthew 5:16)

A quiet life requires thorough introspection and unwavering commitment, but it is a life well-lived. It is a life of incomparable worth. It is a life I intend to pursue with all my heart.

Living Quietly: Minding My Own Affairs

..aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

After Paul exhorts the Church at Thessolonica to aspire to live quietly, he encourages them to mind their own affairs.  It's not so easy in the internet age. Temptations are everywhere. I confess how I have fallen to them. Blog posts and Facebook statuses invite us into the lives of others, feeding the voyeur within us.

Lately I've been wondering, how much do I need to know?  How much benefit is there in knowing so much about mere acquaintances - their thoughts, the adorable things their children say or do, the places they're going, the foods they're eating, the cute shoes they'd like to buy. It's overwhelming and takes away from the time I have to invest in genuine relationships.

Part of a rich, quiet life means that I must properly mind my own affairs by:

prioritizing my involvement in the lives of those around me. I have many friends and acquaintances, but I limit my close relationships. I cannot expect to effectively minister to a large number of people. I am much better at keeping up with and praying for a few whom God has knit to my heart. When presented with opportunities to serve others, I try to be realistic. I can only do so much and still meet my other responsibilities.

realizing how trivial some things are. I need to remember to look at everything through the lens of eternity. As a believer in Christ, I should have no room in my life for drama - whether played out "live" or online. Celebrity break-ups and neighborhood gossip should be meaningless to me.

giving up my need to interject my opinion.  I will not always agree with everyone. In certain situations, there is a time and place to make that known. Most of the time, my opinion doesn't (or shouldn't) matter. It only adds to the noise.

focusing on the works God has planned for me. As a wife, mother, friend, and member of a local church, I have more than enough to keep me occupied. The Proverbs 31 woman was so busy with her own responsibilities that she probably didn't have time to worry about what other people were doing. Maybe that's God's way of protecting us females from sticking their noses in other people's business!

As I've pondered reducing noise, carefully choosing commitments, and minding my own affairs, I've realized a quiet life has great benefits. I'll be sharing those soon, so stay tuned...

Living Quietly:Choosing Commitments

...aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

~1 Thess. 4:11-12

Thoughts of living a quiet life continue to woo me. They were birthed as the result of a particularly chaotic season in our family's life - several weeks of commitments every night. The activities that clamored for my attention soon lost their appeal, leaving me tired, cranky and empty. It also brought conviction.

Housework and paperwork, too long neglected, loomed large before me. I had sacrificed my duties on the altar of busyness. 

Merriam - Webster defines busy as foolishly or intrusively active.

Guilty.

A quiet life also demands answers to some hard questions regarding commitments.

Am I using this as an opportunity to glorify God? Athletics, community organizations, and other activities outside church can certainly testify to God's goodness and grace. Does my participation and attitude reflect that? Even in my commitments away from home, I must remember my calling (1 Cor. 10:31).

Is this helping me to grow in the Lord? Preparing Sunday School lessons offers that opportunity, as do taking meals to those who are sick and befriending parents of my girls' teammates. I must seek activities that help me to live in light of the Gospel.

Is this causing me to sacrifice my primary responsibilities to God and family? Even church activities can cause us to spend too much time away from home, or to be too tired to care for my family when I am home. I must be careful not to neglect my family in the name of serving God.

I am happy my man and my girl play sports, but I would rather splash in the pool with them than cheer them on from the sidelines.  I am thankful for my daughter's youth group, but I would rather learn God's Word with her than hear what her leader taught her.

If our commitments don't lend time for the things I'd rather do, they aren't worth it.